The Surprising science behind why everything you know about success is mostly wrong
Chapter 6: Work, Work, Work or Work Life Balance? How to find harmony between home and the office, courtesy of spiderman, Buddhist-monks, Albert Einstein, professional wrestlers and Genghis khan.
- Ted Williams: ‘Hundreds of kids have the natural ability to become great ballplayers but nothing but practice, practice, practice will bring out that ability.’ It wasn’t mere hours that made Williams so great, It was how he spent those hours. He was a perfectionist, constantly trying to improve.
- Does all hard work produce success? Yes. People who wish to do so must organize their lives around a single enterprise. They must be monomaniacs, even megalomaniacs about their pursuits. They must start early, labor continuously an never give up the cause.
- Voluminous productivity is the rule and not the exception and individuals who have made some noteworthy contributions. To be the very best, you must be a little nuts in the effort department. Hours alone are not enough. Those hours need to be hard. You need to be pushing yourself to be better.
- Hard Work creates talent and talent plus time creates success.
- Libri aut liberi —- Books or Children. If you’re very serious about creating things, you sacrifice family.
- The people who survive stress the best are the ones who actually increase their social investments in the middle of the stress, which is the opposite of what most of us do. We’re more likely to have faith in the people we joke around with.
- Don’t do more work if you can do better work.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson: We are always getting ready to live, but never living.
Four Metrics that matter most:
- Happiness – having feelings of pleasure or contentment in and about your life. (Enjoying)
- Achievement – achieving accomplishments that compare favorably against similar goals others have strive for. (Winning)
- Significance – having a positive impact on people you care about. (Counting to others)
- Legacy – establishing your values or accomplishments in ways that help others find future success. (Extending)
Most of us don’t take the time. We’re reactive, like the tribes of the steppes. And the problem with work life balance is that the old limits are no longer in place for us. We can’t rely on the world to tell us when to power down or shift gears. It’s on you now. That means you need a plan, or you’re always going to feel like you’re not doing enough. Your war is first and last with yourself.
For a WLB life,
- Track your time
- Talk to your boss
- Schedule everything
- Control your context.
- End the day right and on time
The Surprising science behind why everything you know about success is mostly wrong.
Chapter 4: It’s not what you know, It’s who you know (unless it really is what you know) What can we learn about the power of networks from hostage negotiators, top comedians and smartest person who ever lived
- Paul Erdos loved to collaborate. He lived out of a suitcase and routinely traveled to 25 countries, eventually working with 500 other mathematicians. ‘Erdos Number’ – a measure of how close you are to working with Paul.
- Research shows that you don’t actually need to know more to be seen as a leader. Merely by speaking first and speaking often – people come to be seen as El Jefe and those who initially act shy in groups are perceived as less intelligent.
- To get ahead, you need to self-promote. This comes naturally to extroverts and is actually more important than competence when it comes to being seen as a leader.
- Having a large network opens you up to more opportunities, it exposes you to all kinds of other new possibilities.
- Introversion predicts academic performance better than cognitive ability.
- If you can’t stand a moment aloe, get that MBA and chase that leadership position over a passive workforce. But if people drive you crazy, dive deep into your passion, earn those ten thousand hours and be renowned as the best in your field.
- Adam Grant: Read each situation carefully and ask yourself: What do I need to do right now to be most happy or successful?
- When we collaborate – the gains can be exponential. But when we don’t communicate, we can end up not only missing those benefits but also getting our efforts jammed.
- Adam Rifkin: Be a friend. It is better to give than to receive. Look for opportunities to do something for the other person, such as haring knowledge or offering an introduction to someone that person might not know but would be interested in knowing. Do not be transactional. Do not offer something because you want something in return. Instead, show a genuine interest in something you and other person have in common.
- The Rule of Thumb in friendship: Be socially optimistic. Assume other people will like you and they probably will.
- The groups you associate with often determine the type of person you become.
- Thank the people around you. Relationships are the key to happiness and taking time to say ‘thanks’ renews that feeling of being blessed.
Fundamentals of Friendship
- You like Ironman? I like Ironman too. – Introduce yourself. We all choose to be friends with people who are like us.
- Listen and Encourage other toddlers. – Ask them questions and listen. You’re likely to hear something you can connect over. Asking people questions about themselves can create a bod as strong as lifelong friendship in a surprisingly short amount of time. Stop thinking about what you’re going to say next and focus on what they’re saying now. Don’t be afraid to pay the person a sincere compliment. Asking for advise can really help others warm up to you. Ask what challenges people face. Everyone loves to complain a little about the things that stress them out.
- Be a giver. Share yout twinkies. – Offer to help people. When people say they’re having a trouble about something, find a way to help.
How to get an Amazing Mentor right for you?
- Be a worthy pupil – When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
- Study them, really study them – Spend time and be intimately familiar with someone’s work and you want someone who scares you a bit.
- Wasting a mentor’s time is a mortal sin – Asking great questions is a perfect way to build a relationship. Never ask a mentor a question Google can easily answer for you.
- Follow up – The key is to stay relevant. You need to consistently hit them with a conversation to keep the relationship alive but without being a nuisance. Do what they said, get results and let them know they made a difference.
We all have stuff we can learn from someone else.
We always do lunch so now, we’re going out for dinner. Rooftop at City Garden Hotel
THEME: Boho Inspired
VENUE: J. Cuppacakes in SM Jazz Mall
We printed out name plates for each guests that are carefully seated on top of their plates with floral designs (perfect for the theme) and with the couple’s hashtag. Floral crowns are also placed together with the name plates. ❤
We made a photobooth frame from illustration board and decorated it with floral designs too with Kiss the Miss Goodbye printed out too.
We also made a sash for the bride to be. ❤
Ana’s surprise face. I may not be able to show you the video — but she cried! Mission accomplished!
And just some of the food that we ordered. ❤
Some games from our shower: What’s in your bag, Pin the Bra and some Icing on your face.
Late Lunch for the Bride to be.
Ana and her table of goodies.
Some group photos. ❤
You have to learn the rules of the game. And then, you have to play better than anyone else.
Since the mother is out of our radius, lunch outs are more frequent. 🙂 Wendy suggested this Wingshack but after trying them out, I WARN YOU NOT TO.
The place was a bit small, just like the other hole in the walls in the area. Inside its shack can fit about 4 tables of 4.
We got there, observed the menu and tried to order:
TACOS – All of them are not available
BURGER – Not available
CHICKEN TENDERS – Not available.
All we are left with is their WINGS. I know it’s a wings place but what if we wanted to try all sorts from their menu? And they only have 1 freakin food in their menu that’s available!!
We were there at 12:15 pm. They open at 12nn. Shouldn’t they be there at 11 am to prepare the food already? We ordered our food at 12:20 – Wings. We were served after more than an hour! Food was not even hot, not even warm! Food was served at 1:30 pm. Some portions of the plate was wet, sauce was bland, food was cold. None of it was a good enough experience!
Hayy. We all ordered Wings with the following Sauces:
Sweeracha and Buffalo Style.
All four of us was disappointed.
Ramen with the Lunchmates!