EVERYDAY: I’m Engaged! <3


Last October 27, 2018, my life changed.

 

Last October 27, we flew to Coron.

Last October 27, we went to Sophia’s Garden Resort.

Last October 27, I ate bagnet for lunch.

Last October 27, I took some pictures and selfies.

Last October 27, we climbed 700+ steps to the peak of Mt. Tapyas.

Last October 27, I laughed with my friends, held Jude’s hands and whispered, ‘ayoko na. pagod na ko’ on the way to the top while sweating like a pig.

Last October 27, Jude patiently and continuously wiped all my sweat and fixed my hair.

Last October 27, we went back to the resort in a van.

Last October 27, It was a normal day and I was happy lady then.

Until I wasn’t.

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Perfect by Ed Sheeran was playing when we arrived at the resort. I was singing ” just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own. and in your eyes you’re holding mine”. As I was singing the lyrics, I can hear familiar voices playing in the background while we were on a path with lighted hearts! ❤ ❤ ❤

And then I realized, it was a video of the people who are close and dear to me telling me to ‘SAY YES, JANNA’. ❤

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Then there’s this perfect gazebo, a ‘MARRY ME’ plastered right smack in the middle of all our memories, full of our pictures, full of our time together, full of laughter, fights, pain and an overwhelming love for each other. ❤

My Jude thought about everything. He printed about 300 pictures, displayed it mixed with the fairy lights, roses and heart shaped candles. He even shipped everything from Manila and hired a videographer for the perfect proposal SDE. Perfect is an understatement.

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He told me things I cannot even remember. He probably told me he loved me. 😀 I honestly cannot remember. I spaced out. I was speechless, stunned and overwhelmed.

He got down on one knee, asked me to be his wife and there’s no other word in the universe I’d reply with than a big fat, screaming YES. ❤

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This is scary. This is exciting. This is beautiful.

I know how sacred and precious marriage is. We both are not perfect. We have flaws, we fight, we change but there are also moments that you teach me what unconditional love is. It will be messy at times but there will be perfect moments too. And I’m willing to share each and every moment with you.

You are my silver lining.

You are my Derek. You are my Ross. You are my Ted. You are my Jack.

You are everything good in life. You are my greatest blessing.

You are everything dear to me. You are my best friend.

I love you.

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Last October 27, I said my easiest ‘YES’.

Last October 27, I said yes to the man of my dreams.

Last October 27, I said yes to a lifetime with my person.

Last October 27, I got engaged.

Last October 27, I’m not only a happy lady but I became my happiest.

Last October 27, my heart is full and whole.

❤ ❤ ❤

 

P.S. Watch the SDE Proposal here

 

THOUGHTS: FIND A GUY


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  1. Find a Guy who has the urgency to tell you everything
  2. Find a Guy who can’t sleep without you by his side.
  3. Find a Guy who will grab your waist and spin you to dance with no music.
  4. Find a Guy who is proud of you and ready to tell the world who you are to him.
  5. Find a Guy who introduces you to his family, friends and colleagues.
  6. Find a Guy who starts his morning by making you smile.
  7. Find a Guy who never forgets to say Good Morning or Good Night
  8. Find a Guy who makes you feel attractive.
  9. Find a Guy who makes you feel like you’re the only woman in the room.
  10. Find a Guy who makes sure you feel loved and respected.
  11. Find a Guy who will go to any lengths to take that IG-worthy photo of you.
  12. Find a Guy who makes you laugh so hard your tummies hurt.
  13. Find a Guy who you can have impromptu videoke road trips with.
  14. Find a Guy who will take you on surprise road trips.
  15. Find a Guy who never forgets to kiss you hello and see you later.
  16. Find a Guy who still gets excited when he gets to take you out on a date.
  17. Find a Guy who plans for exciting dates without being asked.
  18. Find a Guy who you can be quietly still with.
  19. Find a Guy who you can call when you murdered someone & plans to dump them in a river.
  20. Find a Guy who listens to you.
  21. Find a Guy who pays attention and remembers the little details about you.
  22. Find a Guy who gets the flavor that you want just so he can give you his when you still want more.
  23. Find a Guy who keeps his promises.
  24. Find a Guy who actually wants to bring you home because he wants you safe.
  25. Find a Guy who finds you hot and beautiful at the same time.
  26. Find a Guy who stimulates you intellectually.
  27. Find a Guy who knows you’re worthy of anything.
  28. Find a Guy who finds time to give you handwritten letters.
  29. Find a Guy who hugs you from the back just because he wants to be near you.
  30. Find a Guy who still tells you you’re beautiful and you can see he’s sincere not because it’s a sweet gesture.
  31. Find a Guy who kisses you mid sentence because it’s painful for him not to kiss you at that moment.
  32. Find a Guy who respects your opinion even if it contradicts his.
  33. Find a Guy who will discuss politics and religion with you.
  34. Find a Guy who thinks you’re attractive when you tell him about the book you’re reading.
  35. Find a Guy who puts perfect guys in novels to shame.
  36. Find a Guy who is in pain when he sees you crying.
  37. Find a Guy who kisses you hungrily because he thinks you’re hot and beautiful and extremely attractive.
  38. Find a guy who doesn’t lie.
  39. Find a guy who tries not to disappoint you.
  40. Find a guy who listens to what you want and what you don’t want.
  41. Find a guy who says sorry and doesn’t repeat his mistakes cause he knows how valuable your forgiveness is.
  42. Find a guy is more than happy to bring you along on barkada nights.
  43. Find a guy who willingly updates you his whereabouts, someone who doesn’t need to be asked.
  44. Find a guy who’s not afraid to try new things.
  45. Find a guy who can protect you, not the other way around, someone you feel safe with.

 

If more than half is missing, stay single. It will do you good.

MOVIE: A BRILLIANT YOUNG MIND


3 months ago, my brother gave me a set of movies he downloaded.
This was one of them. I was eager to finish this set because I want new ones.

Anyway, the movie is about a prodigy kid who is inclined to being the Math Wiz.
His father died when he was a kid and as he grows older, it hunts him and it affects his relationship with his mother.
Being the self proclaimed Math Wiz that he is, he landed a place in the British Squad for the
International Mathematics Olympiad Competition.

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I felt that the movie was a bit dragging. The kid shows no emotion toward his mother
or to anyone. The ending reveals that he blocked any kind of emotions after his father died.
But as he progressed in the competition, he was able to meet several friends, a mentor and a girl.
Ha! Girls really have a significant effect on any man’s life, huh? (Thank you, Thank you).

Nathan: I think, I see the world differently to others.
Dad:       It’s all about adaptability, Nathan. Sometimes you have to change your shape, to fit in.

Overall, I wouldn’t really recommend this. Even on  a passing time.

THOUGHTS: How would you rate your success?


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I’d say this is perfect at this point in time. I’m feeling frustrated and depressed and it’s good enough to know that I’m not the only one who feels like this. 😀

LEARN: Managing people you don’t like


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When you dislike an employee you might—consciously or not—mismanage him, treat him unfairly, or fail to see the real benefit he can deliver. To get the most out of someone you don’t like:

1. Learn how to handle your frustration. Don’t let your distaste show. Remain fair, impartial, and composed.
2. Check your bias. If you’re having trouble being fair, seek counsel from another manager who is familiar with the employee’s work. Ask whether your evaluation matches the outsider’s.
3. Keep an open mind. It might help to spend more time with the problem employee, perhaps by collaborating on a difficult task. Remember that perspectives change, and your favorite employee today might become your least favorite tomorrow.

Being nice to the people you don’t like is not being two faced. It’s called Growing Up.

MOVIE: Before Midnight


There was a strong wind last night and a stormy rain to accompany me on the way home. So I was forced to stay in on a Friday night with some Cheese Curls and a bottle of Choco Baby while I watch Before Midnight.

Disclaimer: I haven’t watch the other two Movie Franchise before this. Before Sunset and Before Sunrise

Image                                                                I will just give some snippets from the movie, slogans and what I think of them.

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Her Grandmother’s advice? Not to be too consumed with Romantic Love – I used to believe in this. Well, I’d like to think that I am following this concept. To have your own identity and to have your own thing other than your Romantic Relationship with your partner. But I have to admit, I pretty much fall into the trap all the time. Not completely though. I once sacrificed my sports, my business and my friends. I don’t want to fall in that same hole again. It is important to have a whole other new world outside your relationship. I will work on this. 

We always think we’re evolving, but maybe we can’t change that much.

“He appears and he disappears, like a sunrise and sunset or anything so ephemeral. Just like our life.. we appear and disappear and we are so important to some, but we are just passing through.” – The way he describes her dead husband was heartbreaking, sad, magical and so full of love all at the same time. It’s heartbreaking how much she wants to remember every detail about his husband (the exact color of his lips, the exact shade of blue his eyes are, the wrinkles on his face). It’s fascinating how much love lasts even after so many years.

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Jessie: I have given you my whole life, okay? I got nothing more to give. I’m not giving it to anybody else. If you’re looking for permission to diss all of that, I’m not gonna give it to you, okay? I love you. And I’m not in conflict about it. But if what you want is like a laundry list of all what piss me off I could give it to you.
Celine: Yes, I want you to.
Jessie: Okay, well, let’s start with number one. OKay. Number one, you’re fucking nuts. You are. Goodluck finding someone else who can put up with your shit for more than six months. Okay? But I accept the whole package. The Crazy and the Brilliant. I know you’re not gonna change and I dont want you, it’s what you call accepting you for you.

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This is real life. The movie showed exactly how a couple may hate each others guts so much that they start resenting each other for some choices they made that may have changed the other person’s life. But that’s it. If you love the person, you have to admit all their flaws, all their mistakes, all their imperfections and all you have to do is work through it, with each other, together. 

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When we were young, We always wanted to grow up so fast so we can leave our parent’s house, have all the freedom that we want and do all the things that’ll lead us to greatness but then life happens and you can’t really turn back time. So while we are busy hoping for things, by the time we get there, we regret the things that we missed while we were busy hoping. 

The movie touched on so many topics. I will definitely watch the other two! Will keep you posted.

BOOK: This is how you lose her – Junot Diaz


The truth is there ain’t no relationship in the world that doesn’t hit turbulence.

Even if you admit that she’s you heart, your everything. You cheat on her like the fucking cheating liar you really are.

When your girlfriend finds out that you boned someone else, it’s like a grenade. It detonates everything – past, present and future.

You try every trick in the book to keep her. You write her letters. And every hour like clockwork you say that you’re so sorry. You try it all, But one day she will simply sit up in bed and say, No more.

For awhile, you hunt the city. You phone her everyday and leave messages which she doesn’t answer. You write her long, sensitive letters, which she returned unopened. You even show up at her apartment at odd hours and at her job. You never see her again.

At first, you pretend it don’t matter. For a few weeks, you almost believe it. You run around around with the sluts like it’s the good old days, like nothing has happened. You’re feeling terribly guilty and terribly alone. You keep writing letters to her, waiting for the day that you can hand them to her. You also keep fucking everything that moves.

You end up being alone during holidays with no food, not with anyone. The ex, as you’re now calling her always cooked and set aside all the wings for you. You figure that’s as bad as it gets. A depression rolls over you, so profound you doubt there is a name for it. It feels like you’re being slowly pincered apart, atom by atom.

You stop doing almost everything. You try to describe it. Like someone flew a plane into your soul. Like someone flew two planes into your soul. Your little letters become more and more pathetic. ‘Please, please come back’.

You put all away the old pictures of her. No one will ever be like her. But you find yourself a girl anyway.

You want to turn over a new leaf. Takes you a bit – but you finally break clear and when you do, you feel lighter. You finally go on dates.

You get numbers but nothing you would take home to the family. You’re out all the time but no one seems to be biting. ”I think I need a break from the bitches”.

You take your break. You try to get back to your work. You start three novels. You get serious about your classes and you take up running. Every time you think about your EX, every time the loneliness rears up in you like seething, you tie on your shoes and run.

Out of nowhere, you call the ex, but of course she doesn’t pick you up. The fact that she doesn’t change her number gives you some strange hope.

You start doing push-ups and pull-ups and even some Yoga. You start having dinner with a couple of girls. You eventually erase her contact info from your phone but not the pictures of her in bed while she was naked and asleep.

Of course you dream about her. You want her to say your name, to touch you, but she doesn’t.

You want to move on. You work harder than you’ve ever worked at everything. You keep waiting for the heaviness to leave you. You keep waiting for the moment you never think about the EX again. It doesn’t come.

There are surprises and there are surprises and then there is this. You didn’t think anything could hurt so bad. You are surprised at what a fucking chickenshit coward you are. It kills you to admit it but it’s true. How long does it usually take to get over it?

The day you decide it;s over, it’s over. You never get over it.

Our relationship wasn’t the sun, the moon and the stars, but it wasn’t bullshit either. A start is all we ever get.