BOOK REVIEW : The Chaos of Longing by K.Y Robinson

GOODREADS: Organized in four sections – Inception, Longing, Chaos, and Epiphany – K.Y. Robinson’s debut poetry collection explores what it is to want in spite of trauma, shame, injustice, and mental illness. It is one survivor’s powerful testimony, and a love letter “to those who lie awake burning. The Chaos of Longing is a brutally honest exploration of desire—physical, emotional, and spiritual.

  • All the makings of you are love at first sight. When I dream of you tonight, I will hold you hostage underneath my eyelids.
  • You told me not to fall in love with you but you knew the contours of my heart.
  • I’ve closed other doors in attempt to be yours. But you’re always eyeing the window and I can’t cure your wanderlust.
  • In the beginning, all I wanted was to be yours. It took time to realize that I have to stop giving myself away as if I didn’t belong to myself.
  • There’s a universe swirling inside you. You have to learn to be your own earth, wind, fire and water. You are a natural phenomenon – not a natural disaster.
  • Don’t shrink your truth to make it fit nice and neat in others as if it’s origami. Unfold and free yourself.

I somehow find it a bit pale and bland. In my interpretation, most of the content are about lust and desire and tidbits of other things.

Though, I am in awe of how he creates the metaphor, built by everything in our daily lives and transform it into something deeper. I love how the inclusion of the most mundane things make it seem more relevant.

*** It’s not something I would read over and over.


Goodreads: ”When Warren has the opportunity to live with a female roommate, he instantly agrees. It could be an exciting change.

Or maybe not.

Especially when that roommate is the cold and seemingly calculating Bridgette. Tensions run high and tempers flare as the two can hardly stand to be in the same room together. But Warren has a theory about Bridgette: anyone who can hate with that much passion should also have the capability to love with that much passion. And he wants to be the one to test this theory.

Will Bridgette find it in herself to warm her heart to Warren and finally learn to love?

Maybe.                                               Maybe not. ”

Bridgette was working in Hooters and just might be the step sister of Warren’s bestfriend. Warren manages a band. 

Just when I was starting to love Hoover, I read this and almost regretted loving her. Yes, it was a fun read but I didn’t see any theme in this book. It was mainly just filled with Sex, the deed, thoughts of a man doing the deed and all sorts of sex that you can inject. However, of course there was a love element to the story. But in my opinion, it was not that transparent for it to become an actual book. (again, in my opinion). For me, story was really shallow, even for a romantic young adult book. 

There were some fun parts, I admit. 

  • I fuck like I’m thor. 
  • She’s the best worst thing that’s ever happened to me. 
  • She single handedly got the upper hand for all eternity.
  • She’s nothing I’ve ever wanted in a girl and absolutely everything I need. 
  • That kiss on the cheek means were official. 
  • I don’t want you to change, bridgette. I’m not in love with who you could be, or who you used to be, or who the world says you should be. I’m in love with you. Just like this. 

**Read in 4 hours! 🙂


From the reviews of Good Reads, Everyone was sharing that however brilliant the book is, it should not – as much as possible be read by women. This is not a woman – friendly book, they say.

Which is to say, I agree – at some degree.

The first scene was very disturbing as narrated. Imagine the protagonist being questioned in court, in front of the jury, in front of the bystanders, in front of the judge. Everyone in the room except her, have balls. Not the ego, right hand balls — it’s the sensitive male parts, the real balls. Everyone in the room has penis. Everyone in the room is a male. Except for Penny.

And as she was on the stand, she was raped. She was struggling with all her might while her rapist was strongly pulling her legs apart to enter her indignantly.

Her rapist was the wealthiest man in the world. He was her former lover – more of a scientist actually, more of a frog on the table, more of an experiment. There was no affection at all. He used her to accomplish and perfect his whole collection of sex toys.
Allegedly, these sex toys — after about 3,000 women who underwent and was used to get how they react and perfect the combination of stimuli and sensations to climax all the time and reach orgasm — can actually kill individuals, specially women due to sex addiction to the point where the pleasure can stop and kill our brain.

Can you imagine that? Pleasure — our own doing — our lust — our libido can be the source of our own death, the cause of our demise.

And not only that, the sex genius, the mad scientist implanted nanobots – that are so tiny, that are smaller than molecules into the sex toys that women insert in their vaginas. These nanobots are so tiny they swim thru the blood vessels and are so powerful they can control your brain. — and clone another human being.

So why do this and go through all that trouble? His fiance, died after 136 days of being married to him. The Protagonist? she was a clone of his dead wife.

There is, undeniably – nothing wrong with pleasure, of sex, of lust. As long as it’s with the right person, at the right time and place and at the right amount – volume and frequency.
Let’s not our penises, our clitoris, our vagina and all our sensual and sexual parts rule over our heads. Okay?

However mad and sick Chuck is, It’s a good book I’d say.
It’s different.

THOUGHTS: Why is infidelity common?

So why do males, more often than not, allow their penis to make the decisions for them? Why do males – husbands, boyfriends or unofficial someone cheat?

Is it the heat? Oh come on. You can throw your clothes off or leave it on the floor and let your genitals hang. You don’t need another body heat. Besides, it will only cause you to perspire more.

Or, is it at that moment, your penis needed some action and your wife is not around? Why not do it on your own? Use your hand. You even have two. You don’t need another set of new hands to satisfy your cravings. That’s what you have been using before you even have a girlfriend. You need something to get you going? Imagine. Picture your wife. Use your brain, not your balls.


You find someone particularly hot and sexy? So what. You have a sexy, beautiful and intelligent wife waiting for you at home, who even prepared your favorite meal for you.

You just want to have sex? But God. You have a wife/girlfriend. So why not just make love to her like you’re supposed to. Last time I checked, it was allowed. You don’t need a new person in the equation.

You don’t find your partner, sexually attractive? So why enter a committed relationship in the first place.


Is it the thrill? Excuses. If you love your girlfriend, do it with them. Do it in a public place, try it in the wildest position you can imagine, do role plays or experiment with sex toys . . JUST DON’T DO IT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

Whatever you do, whatever reason you may have, just think about it first. Would you want your wife/girlfriend sleeping with someone else?

At least have the manners to break it off first or end the marriage before doing such act. Or the decency to save your soul before it is caught on fire.

P.S. No, my someone didn’t cheat on me. I’m in a loving relationship.