BOOK REVIEW: Dear Heart, I Hate you by J. Sterling


You could meet a thousand people and they’d all mean nothing to you. But then you’d meet that one and they suddenly meant everything.

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GOODREADS: I didn’t plan on him. Or for him. Or anything that had to do with Cal Donovan from Boston. Meeting him had been a complete and utter surprise, taking me one hundred percent off guard. I met new people every single day in my line of work and none of them affected me.

This is going to be brutally honest. – I absolutely did not like the book! There was no depth. I am definitely not a fan of Insta-love and I obviously do not believe in such. Maybe that’s why I hated this. If you’re looking for a growth in character then maybe this one is for you, how two workaholics who did not believe in love suddenly fell in love.

But no. I don’t get it. There’s no build up. No twists. No major setback. It was just an on-going and continuous LDR where the plot is fairly predictable. I did not fell in love with ANY of the characters. I did not feel the love or longing from both Cal and Jules.

Nothing. No emotion.

  • When did making yourself a priority become such a horrible thing?
  • Those lips. They’ll be my ruin.
  • It was heartbreaking when you recognize that moment when pieces of your reality turned into memories.
  • I’m not even all the way in and you already feel like home.
  • Her beauty rivaled her brain. She was a double threat.
  • Who we loved wasn’t always a choice. Sometimes it was an irresistible pull, a gravitational force, something we couldn’t see or control that drew us toward one another.

I’m utterly disappointed. I saw how one of my favorite authors, Coho praised this book. And that is exactly the reason why I gave this book a chance but my oh my… I was wrong.

BOOK REVIEW: Unwritten Letters to You by T.B Laberge


GOODREADS: Unwritten Letters to You is a collection of writings ranging from heartbreak to longing for love. Within each page comes the words that are often so hard to speak, and with each chapter you will find that blood can be turned to ink.

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WOW. JUST WOW. Everything you may have been feeling? It’s in here. I am happily married but I can also easily relate to the words of a person who has been left behind, cheated on or in the personality of someone who is searching for a person to love.

  • I’m still looking for that smile, that wink, or maybe it’ll just be a sigh that will set my world on fire. Whatever it is, I’m still looking for it.
  • I fear that I will love someone that will always be the wind to my sails, pushing me on but never staying.
  • What if? What if my love and desire for you broke through the doubts that cling to me? What if I chose to love you even in the prospect of the unknown?
  • I wanted to be a forever, but I was only a moment.
  • You were alive before they came around, so don’t let them stop you from living again. Just because they didn’t want you doesn’t mean you are unwanted. Just because they didn’t want forever with you, doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a forever. Just because love wasn’t written for you both doesn’t mean your life is written with any less love.
  • You are more than the marks left on your soul, more than the tears of a broken heart, you are a soul that is eternal.
  • You must not reduce yourself to a puddle just because the person you like is afraid to swim and you are a fierce sea to them. Because there will be someone who was born with love of the waves within their blood, and they will look at you with fear and respect.
  • Love is saying I do, even when you feel like you don’t.
  • If you are happy, then I’m happy. If you’re sad, then I’m sad. Because it’s not about whether or not I fix you. It’s about me, being here and sharing the weight of these moments with you. I fight beside you, because that is love. It’s sharing the struggles, the joys and love we have. It’s about walking this life together and I want you there for as long as possible.

Damn, is he good with words! You can feel the passion, love, longing and sadness with every word he’s written. A must read!

BOOK REVIEW: Girl in Pieces by Kathleen Glasgow


GOODREADS: Charlotte Davis is in pieces. At seventeen she’s already lost more than most people lose in a lifetime. But she’s learned how to forget. The broken glass washes away the sorrow until there is nothing but calm. Every new scar hardens Charlie’s heart just a little more, yet it still hurts so much. It hurts enough to not care anymore, which is sometimes what has to happen before you can find your way back from the edge.

Honestly, it took me longer than I expected. It’s not a light read and to put it out there, this book and the story can be a trigger for those with history of self harm, depressed or any suicidal thoughts.

Spoiler Alert? At seventeen years old, Charlie wakes up in Creeley, a rehab center for women who self-harm. Her father committed suicide by drowning himself, her mother gave up on her, her best friend, a fellow cutter is brain dead, she lived on the street, got sold for sex and her only friend who she likes only wanted to be friends.

I learned that talking really helps and it goes both ways. It’s important to talk to someone. Don’t keep whatever hatred or tension or sadness pent up. Lend an ear. Offer to listen to. People around you may be struggling too. Always be kind, a little kindness goes a long way. We never really know what battles other people are fighting everyday.

This is also the reason why I feel like I need to highlight Michael, Ariel, Linus and Felix. They are such a ray of sunshine in Charlie’s recovery. It’s nice how Mikey offered to help right off the bat, after not being in touch for so long. The lives of Michael and Linus also showed hope that things do get better and people get better. Michael has been sober and is living his best life. He realized he was tired of all the nonsense. Ariel! She’s what everyone needs! A mother figure to knock some sense in all of us. Don’t you think? Linus also told Charlie that she still struggles all the time and that sometimes, she just needs to wait it out. Felix, on the other hand has been helping Charlie on keeping busy and helping her translate all her feelings into paper.

Just one bit about Riley though – I loved his gift. You know how you need not tell the person what you like because he sees you? He watches you and knows what you want, what’s important to you and all? Like how Riley gave her this art book because he saw how her eyes sparkled when she was looking at this particular book.

I’m also happy with the way things ended. It should not always be a happy love story. It’s nice that Charlie is getting her shit together and that she did not llet Riley’s on stage performance affect her progress. And Oh! I also need to discuss Blue’s significant part on Charlie’s recovery. She was consistently there for her, making her feel at home, having someone to come home to, to talk to after work, someone who actually wants to be with you and appreciates your company – and I must say, it’s such a huge impact on Charlie’s confidence and mental health.

It’s not an easy read because it was so raw and honest. The author clearly depicts how the mind of a cutter runs. It’s so sad and I felt so lonely in some parts of the book. It tackles about hope, loneliness, self-harm and belonging – which everyone can relate to. This book opens you to a whole new world of understanding.

It’s such a help. Reading this book tells you that you are not alone and it’s so good to know that other people are experiencing this too, and maybe, just sometimes – that is enough, to know that someone else is feeling those too.

  • I’m so lonely in the world I want to peel all of my flesh off and walk, just bone and gristle.
  • I cut because I cut. It’s as simple as that. I need release. I need to hurt myself more than the world can hurt me, and then I can comfort myself. Hurting yourself makes you feel better. That somehow you can rid yourself of pain by causing yourself pain.
  • You don’t know what it feels like to every day, every fucking day, be so lonely that this black hole inside is going to swallow you down.
  • The moral of the story Charlie is this, don’t let the cereal eat you. It’s only a fucking box of cereal, but it will eat you alive if you let it.
  • You own all of yourself, Charlie. Every last bit.
  • Everything and everybody that’s busted can be fixed.
  • The world hurts enough. Why fucking chase it down?
  • Sometimes you have to let stuff go if you want to move forward, you know?
  • How can you live in fear of your very self?
  • Stuff happens. You just gotta keep on truckin.
  • Everybody you meet is like a little mirror of you.
  • Cutting is a fence you build upon your own body to keep people out but then you cry to be touched. But the fence is barbed. What then?
  • You be you, Charlie. You be you.
  • We have to choose who we want to be, not let the situation choose us.

EVERYDAY: Our Wedding (Bride’s Vows)


November 24, 2019, the most magical day of my life. ❤

Documenting this here so I can read it over and over and over again and be reminded of my commitment to my husband.

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”8 years ago, I walked into BOC looking to start my career. Instead, I met the man I was going to marry.

Bab, thank you for always braving the Saturday El Shaddai just to bring me home. Thank you for giving me your chicken skin, knowing I hate the white portion. Thank you for always giving me the last bite of our sizzling tofu.

Thank you for always supporting me & pushing me to be my best, especially when I don’t believe in myself. Thank you for trusting that I can do more. I promise I’ll always be here to support you whether you want to pursue law or try out your singing career. Thank you for never making me feel less for all my shortcomings & lastly, Thank you for enduring the boy – jojo tandem. (Everybody knows how strict my parents are).

I don’t know where life will take us but I promise that we’ll get through anything as long as we face them together. I promise not just to be your wife but to continue being your bestfriend. I promise to hear you out life a friend even in your ugliest & work it out as your wife.

I know marriage won’t always be a happy ending. There will be days we can’t bear to be with each other. I know that we will have to work on our relationship every single day, but it will be easy knowing it’s with you. I know that both of us will change but I promise to love not just the person that you are now but the person that you will become, no matter how different you may be. If I have to wake up 40 years from now and see a bald fat guy, I want it to be with you, double chin & all.

I promise not to give up on us & to do everything to make our marriage work. I promise not to run when things get hard. I promise I’ll stay even when you’re annoying as hell. I promise to love you when it’s easy & even more when it’s not. Most importantly, I promise to still hold you hand even when you wear crocs in public.

Baba, I’m not sure if you remember. But 5 years ago, I wrote a blog about you. It says,

Someday, I want to experience freaking out of wedding details. I want to argue with you what flowers should go inside the church, or what color of tux should you wear, who our ring bearer is, the color of our invitation, what our theme song is, what flavor our wedding cake will be or what band should we hire. I want to take hundreds of prenuptial pictures with you. I want to attend a wedding rehearsal and not be scared that you might flip out because I am aware of how much you love me. Someday, I want to have hundreds and thousands of butterflies in my stomach not because I’m nervous but because I am full of excitement to finally be called your wife. I want to wear a sparkling fantasy shoes because I’ve already met my prince charming. An intelligent-charming-handsome lawyer slash banker slash archaeologist prince charming. I want to feed you our cake and let you drink wine knowing that I will be doing it for the rest of our lives. Lastly, I want to walk down the aisle perfectly happy knowing that all of my dreams are waiting for me, ready to take my hand and exchange vows in front of god and in front of our families and friends. I want to walk down the aisle and say I do to the man of my dreams. 

Today, baba, I get to fulfill that dream, that blog I wrote 5 years ago. Today, I’ll be your wife. I love you baba. I can’t wait to take on life with you.

EVERYDAY: Our Wedding (Groom’s Vows)


November 24, 2019, the most magical day of my life. ❤

Documenting this here so I can read it over and over and over again.

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‘Babe, Our story is about unexpected love. We did not want each other at first. Me, thinking that you are the typical party girl who is not my type and your impression of me was that I am a grumpy nerd who hates everyone who cannot understand what is being discussed. 

I can’t remember exactly when but I started to fall for you. You have a very lovable attitude – very compassionate, caring and sympathetic. 

I fell so immensely I had to pursue you even if you were pushing me away. Parang may spell. And because of patience and perseverance, napasagot kita. I was very lucky and blessed to have you as my girlfriend. 

Sabi ko ikaw na yung gusto ko makasama habambuhay. Sabi nila, very rare yung ganun bu that’s how I saw it from the inital stages of our relationship – wife material. 

Wala tayong madramang story na nag-break tapos nagkabalikan or iniwan tapos narealize, mahal pala niya. OUR LOVE STORY IS VANILLA. But it is your favorite ice cream flavor. We were able to know each other and talk about things nang mahinahon. 

We handled our relationship with maturity kahit na minsan hilig mong mang-away. Iniitindi natin yung isa’t isa, yung feelings nang isa’t isa. Wala na akong mahihiling pa for a partner in life. Ikaw lang ang gusto ko makasama, babe. Ikaw lang yung gusto ko nandiyan sa successes & failures ko. Ikaw yung gusto ko makinig pag nagrant ako. Lagi ko sinasabi, I cannot see my future without you. 

THIS IS IT MAHAL. Wala na yung mahabang ma-traffic na bbyahe pag maghahatif and pag-antay mo na makauwi ako bago tayo matulog. Magkasama na tayo pag-uwi kapag may party or inuman, pwede na tayo mag-travel together, magluto nang baon for each other and maglinis at mag-ayos nang sarili nating bahay. 

I will do everything to make our marriage God-driven, meaningful and strong. Please remember na mahal na mahal kita. Whenever there are tough times, let us always choose to be with each other and love each other. 

I am so happy to be with you and I am excited to spend the rest of my life with you. 

I love you

NSG. ” 

EVERYDAY: Our Wedding (Groom: The Pre-Wedding)


November 24, 2019, the most magical day of my life. ❤

GROOM: When she was still my fiancée, my wife would (once-in-a-while) ask me “When did you know / decide that you will marry me?” and I would always answer that I already knew it when I started to woo her. And she would not believe that. But it is true. I did not pursue her just to fool around. I pursued her because I wanted to be committed to her.

I proposed on October 27, 2018 in Coron, Palawan and we decided to get married (more or less) a year after the proposal. We planned our wedding date to coincide with our first date which was on November 18 but it would fall on a Monday so we decided to move it on the nearest Saturday which was on November 16. One of the mistakes that we did was to book a reception venue first before a Church. However, we already paid a non-refundable fifty thousand peso advance payment for the reception so there is really no choice but to just pick any Church for our wedding. I searched for every near church in the area but to no avail so I looked for farther Churches located in Batangas (Caleruega and Chapel on the Hill) for a weekend date. Caleruega’s 2PM schedule was fully booked until 2020. Luckily, I was able to find a free Sunday slot in Chapel on the Hill. I remember driving from my house in Sta. Ana, Manila to Chapel on the Hill in Batanagas just to reserve the available date (November 24, 2019). Consequently, we also had to change the date with our venue coordinator.

After those two major suppliers were booked, everything went by so fast. There were too many discussions and problems which came thru but my wife and I solved it by talking properly. We did not want to involve our parents so much since we wanted them to just attend the ceremony and not worry much about it.

One month before the wedding, we felt exhausted because of all the errands and the work that we should do. I just wanted everything to get done. I was already thinking of the days after the wedding (sana matapos na). 

We checked-in in our hotel on November 23, 2019 (a day before the wedding) so our families could still rest and chill before our busy day.  There was a forecasted bad weather on our wedding day so I could not relax. I was very anxious since I did not want our day to be ruined by a storm. We worked hard and sacrificed a lot just to have the BEST wedding.

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I woke up at 6am on November 24, 2019. The first thing I did was to look outside and thanked God for a blue sky. The weather was fair until the time that we had to go to the Church. It rained when my family and I were being transported to the Church. The rain was so hard. I was pissed and sad but I just prayed and I tried to be calm. Our coordinator was very helpful calming me. 

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My husband is wearing a really dark emerald suit, dark brown tie, shoes and belt. 

The room assigned to my husband is a lot bigger than mine. All of his entourage can fit inside the house. ❤ I’m pretty sure they are watching him and our PV team while they were shooting him here. 😀

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Yep! We pick GOOOOODD. ❤ It’s the watch I gave him for this 25th birthday! Our minimalist white marble invitation and the perfume I gave him too as a Christmas gift before. Since then, he’s been using the scent. ❤

It’s his siblings helping him straighten his tie and close his suit, dashing as ever. ❤

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WOAHHHHH. HANDSOME ALERT. ❤ 

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Our PV team had a fun time. Our hotel made it easy for them to shoot. ❤

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To officially introduce our groom squad. here’s the 3 of his siblings as his bestmen, 2 of the husbands of my close friends, his high school bestfriend and his cousin. My brother and his first cousins as our Secondary Sponsor.

Our groom squad is all wearing a black suit and black shoes. We all gave them neckties that will match with our bride squad. ❤

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We are surrounded with greenery and fresh air, complimenting and emphasizing the beautiful day of our union. ❤

Mr. Darcy in real life! I married this man. ❤

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And boys, being boys. They had to start the day with a shot of alcohol. Uhm hello? You’ll be marrying me.  What do you need the alcohol for? 😛

And with a shot of Jack Daniels, off they go to the church, while the groom stays to have a photo with his family. ❤

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Lastly, here’s my dashing groom opening my gift: A bunch of adventures and dates. ❤

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Bride to Groom: ‘My love, My life, My All – Baba we never have to miss another seat sale again! I love you so much. To more red eye flights, road trips, trying out hole in the wall restaurants, hopping to 1 hotel to the other. DATE DAY is all on! I can’t wait. I love love love you! ❤ ”

Groom to Bride: ‘Hi Mahal! I bought this property in 2016 para tirhan natin! Please receive the main keys for our condominium! Excited to spend our time together here. I-design and mag netflix and chill. I love you! See you sa altar! ”

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BOOK REVIEW: The Sun is also a Star by Nicola Yoon


GOODREADS: Natasha: I’m a girl who believes in science and facts. Not fate. Not destiny. Or dreams that will never come true. My family is twelve hours away from being deported to Jamaica. Falling in love with him won’t be my story.

Daniel: I’ve always been the good son, the good student, living up to my parents’ high expectations. Never the poet. Something about Natasha makes me think that fate has something much more extraordinary in store—for both of us.

The Universe: Every moment in our lives has brought us to this single moment. A million futures lie before us. Which one will come true?

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Do not mistake me for being a realist or cold hearted. I’m not. I like reading love stories and happy endings. BUT christ, SPARE ME LOVE AT FIRST SIGHTS or INSTALOVE. Who believes in those shit? You meet a stalker and you let him hold you in the hand, not even an hour after bumping into the guy? Jeez. Call it attraction instead! Now that! – that’s possible! Lust too. You don’t just decide to spend the whole day and let that person tag a long.

But that’s not love! Love is knowing the person inside and out, loving all the flaws, all the horrible things and dark secrets the other person has – something you’ll discover, observe and experience through time. It’s not answering questions all day, having conversations with a stranger and trusting your whole life with that person so quickly!

We all have moments! The feeling of endorphins rising up, the feeling of excitement in getting to know someone, the jitters of ‘new’ love. but moments? moments pass. That’s not love.

How about the character of Natasha? Now her – she’s cold-hearted and so unattached with everything, every emotion and everyone else. She doesn’t believe in anything or anyone except Science. She relies on science to explain everything that’s been happening around her.

And Daniel? Gad. Sure, he is sweet and says all the right things a guy can say at the right time. But don’t you think he’s too much? He’s too emotional and passionate and he practically associates everything with fate and heart and feelings. HAHA. probably exactly how a poet should be characterized. But I wouldn’t want to date someone like him.

And let me just mention the Atty. He actually thinks he met Hannah too late? WHO DOES THAT? If you fuckin love your wife and kids, where would you even find the time to fall in love with someone else? What does he mean by he met hannah too late? Does it mean he regrets his life with his family? WHY? WHY? Stupid men who thinks they have multiple hearts, thinking they can love several women at the same time. just, assholes. Why don’t you just spend the time nurturing your relationship with your family? Make yourself deserving of your family!

What I do liked about this book is that there are snippets of chapters where you learn about trivial things such as Why Korean – American families typically own Black Hair Care stores in New York, Dark Matter, the grandfather paradox, the theory of multiverses and Scientific experiments too.

PLUS, Daniel’s monologue when he finally told Natasha that the Atty couldn’t do anything? It’s the best!

The book also tackles the struggles and the issues of undocumented immigrants, broken dreams, cultural diversions, parent’s expectations, hope, fate and relationships between family members.

  • COPACETIC – in excellent order
  • MUTABLE – liable to change
  • ERUDITE – showing great knowledge
  • Where did all those feelings go? People spend their whole lives looking for love. But how can you trust somethings that can end as suddenly as it begins?
  • All your future histories can be destroyed in a single moment.
  • Are we really supposed to know what we want to do for the rest of our lives?
  • Sometimes the truth can hurt more than you expect.
  • She smiles so big that I know that whatever happens will be worth it.
  • Who are we if not a product of our parents and their histories?
  • It’s not up to you to help other people fit you into a box.
  • Growing up and seeing your parent’s flaws is like losing your religion.
  • You are never out of options.
  • We think we want all the time in the world with the people we love, but maybe what we need is the opposite. Just a finite amount of time, so we still think the other person is interesting.
  • Some people exist in your life to make it better. Some people exist to make it worse.
  • They have a sense that the length of a day is mutable, and you can never see the end from the beginning. They have a sense that love changes all things all the time.

Overall, story narration is ‘kay. I like reading short chapters too. I just didn’t like the wholeness of the story. I would not recommend reading this book but I’d give Nicola Yoon another chance. I’m open to reading Everything, Everything. ❤

BOOK REVIEW : Normal People by Sally Rooney


GOODREADS: At school Connell and Marianne pretend not to know each other. He’s popular and well-adjusted, star of the school soccer team while she is lonely, proud, and intensely private. But when Connell comes to pick his mother up from her housekeeping job at Marianne’s house, a strange and indelible connection grows between the two teenagers—one they are determined to conceal. A year later, they’re both studying at Trinity College in Dublin. Marianne has found her feet in a new social world while Connell hangs at the sidelines, shy and uncertain. Throughout their years in college, Marianne and Connell circle one another, straying toward other people and possibilities but always magnetically, irresistibly drawn back together. 

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Reading the book was quite exhausting. The love story of Marianne and Connell was tiring but the book carefully dissects the character of both. Communication in a world full of judgement and people acting cool and the contest between who can care less and invests no feelings in the relationship is lonely. Both of them obviously have feelings toward another but not being able to tell it directly makes them go in continuous circle.

Both characters have complex personalities but the way they think is so raw and real and exactly what happens every single day. But as you continue to read the book, you’ll watch how the characters develop and learn more about themselves, embrace them and finally be comfortable in their own skin (without having to think about what other people would think)

  • Don’t delude yourself. I have nothing to learn from you.
  • Everyone has to pretend not to notice that their social lives are arranged hierarchically, with certain people at the top, some jostling at mid-level, and others lower down.
  • ‘People in school don’t lie her, do they? So I suppose you were afraid of what they would say about you, if they found out.’
  • It’s easy for them to have opinions, and to express them with confidence. They don’t worry about appearing ignorant or conceited.
  • He knew then that the secret for which he had sacrificed his own happiness and the happiness f another person had been trivial all along, and worthless. He and Marianne could have walked down the school corridors hand in hand, and with what consequence? Nothing really. No one cared.
  • I suppose I didn’t want you to think I was damaged or something.
  • There’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes.
  • Is the world such an evil place, that love should be indistinguishable?
  • Life is the thing you bring with you inside your own head.
  • She feels pleasurably crushed under the weight of his power over her, the vast ecstatic depth of her will to please him.
  • She is an abyss that he can reach into, an empty space for him to fill.
  • I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I cared what people thought of me.

What they have now, they can never have back again.. But for her the pain of  loneliness will be nothing to the pain that she used to feel, of being unworthy. He brought her goodness like a gift and now it belongs to her. Meanwhile his life opens out before him in all directions at once. They’ve done a lot of good for each other. Really, she thinks really. People can really change one another.

‘You should go’. she says. I’ll always be here. You know that.

EAT ANTIPOLO: Yellow Bird Cafe


Normally, we don’t celebrate heart’s day. But as years passed, I wanted to. I don’t mean bouquets and chocolates. (chocolates would be nice) HAHAHA. I mean spending time, just the two of us with my now, hubby.

And as others would fear, Valentine’s Day fell on a Friday and Pay day. It just means, Manila Traffic plus raging hormones on the street, rush hour triples the traffic. So, Jude planned for a Breakfast Date. He just told me he’ll bring me somewhere. And hell, I didn’t know that it was still on, so excuse my bare, no bath face and hair.

We arrived at this quaint cafe in Antipolo. It’s Instagram friendly, and by this I mean the place is picture perfect. It’s pretty both inside and outside. You’ll want to take a picture of every corner.

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Crunchy Okoy for Php 155

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My hubby is pretty excited about this. And now I know absolutely why. The okoy was thin and crispy. The shrimps doesn’t hurt my throat (which usually does at most places). It can be eaten as an appetizer and as a viand. (which I did). Must try!

Homemade Beef Tapa for Php 165

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All of their breakfast plates comes with garlic rice and 2 eggs. He loved this. I tasted the beef. It’s okay. I wouldn’t usually go near a tapa. I hate how dark and extremely marinated it is. But this one is okay. It wouldn’t be my go-to but I can eat it.

Bacon for Php 165

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It comes with 2 eggs too which I had requested to be scrambled. I’m a bit disappointed with their bacon. I like mine crispy but this one is far from it and it’s bit on the thick side. It’s not bad though. The rice, I like.

Hazelnut Coffe for Php 145

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Nothing special. It tasted like a regular flavored coffee. It didn’t even taste like hazelnut but it’s okay. I’ll order this again.

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Overall, I guess I’d like to come back. I’d probably order a Spam for Breakfast or Shrimp Scampi or Spicy Sardines Pasta or Beef Bulgogi and Macadamia x Hazelnut for Coffee next time. I can already imagine it. ❤

Thank you for bringing me here, babe. ❤ Next time ulit please. 🙂

As for Valentine’s, I wanted to give him something since it’s our first as Husband and Wife. ❤ and I wanted to mess with him, thus ‘WANNA SCREW?’ and ‘WANNA BANG?’ plastered outside the paper bag. I decided to give him (3) shirts.

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I also received my perfectly favorite stargazers. I will never get tired of them. Thank you so much, baba. I love you. ❤

BOOK REVIEW : Regretting you by Colleen Hoover


Goodreads: Morgan Grant and her sixteen-year-old daughter, Clara, would like nothing more than to be nothing alike.Morgan is determined to prevent her daughter from making the same mistakes she did. By getting pregnant and married way too young, Morgan put her own dreams on hold. Clara doesn’t want to follow in her mother’s footsteps. Her predictable mother doesn’t have a spontaneous bone in her body.
The only person who can bring peace to the household is Chris—Morgan’s husband, Clara’s father, and the family anchor. But that peace is shattered when Chris is involved in a tragic and questionable accident. Morgan finds comfort in the last person she expects to, and Clara turns to the one boy she’s been forbidden to see.

I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of reading Coho books. ❤ ever since I saw her post about working on this book, I’ve been reeling to get my hands on this!

The story of Morgan and Clara blends together so well. Two different individuals with two different personalities going through the same loss paired with confusion and lots of heartache. It’s like Coho gave us all three books in one. You’ll see a grieving wife and a sister who’s experiencing the worst betrayal but continues to fall in love and learns to put down her walls. You’ll see a teenage girl who’s grieving for her hero yet finds out one of the most painful secrets. You’ll see how the relationship of a mother and her daughter grows through life experiences.

”Everyone around me seems to have a purpose, yet I feel like I’ve reached the age of thirty four and have absolutely no life outside of Clara and Chris”. From this book, I think I appreciated my mother better. Morgan’s pent up feelings and issues of self doubt felt so painfully real. You’ll see how much mothers sacrifice for their children, putting their dreams and life to a pause or to a complete stop. I wonder if all mothers go through that? feeling like you have no life other than being a mother to your children and a wife to your husband. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong. But like Morgan, that’s one of my fears too. Coho illustrated it so well. I wish every mother knows how important they are and how respected, appreciated and loved they are.

It makes me wonder how a seemingly good husband seems to be perfect one time and hurts you so much without knowing it? How can anyone be perfectly good liars in front of your face? I hate that I liked Chris at first. ‘What if your future wife doesn’t like it?’ ‘ You won’t’.

I love the adoring banter between Miller and his gramps. Gramps is pretty witty himself. ❤ And the way Jonah freakin saves all the watermelon jolly ranchers ever since they were kids? GAH. And the way Miller has been stalking Clara for three years!! I want a promposal, just like that. ❤ ‘One of these days, that girl is gonna notice me. You just wait’. 😀 Plus miller named his truck Nora!!! The character Clara played in the theater. ❤

  • I wonder if humans are the only living creatures who feel hollow inside.
  • Sometimes when we’re alone, he looks at me in a way that makes me feel empty when he looks away.
  • His words jar me.
  • I love it when he smiles, even after all these years of marriage.
  • Sometimes you have to walk away from the fight in order to win it.
  • I guess that happends when you become a mother, though. Your focus is no longer on yourself.
  • Heartbreak builds character.
  • For some reason, sadness in music eases music eases the sadness in my soul. It’s like the worse the heartache in a song is, the better I feel.
  • I’ve believed in you the moment I met you. I believe in myself now that I’ve finally left you.
  • I think it’s time I figure out who I was meant to become before I started living my life for everyone else.
  • Everything you do is epic, Clara.
  • Grown ups might not have their shit figured out nay more than we do. They just wear more convincing masks.
  • I just love you because I can’t help it, and it feels good to love you.
  • Attraction isn’t something that only happens once, with one person. It’s part of what drives humans. Our attraction to each other, to art, to food, to entertainment. Attraction is fun. So when you decide to commit to someone, you aren’t saying, ‘I promise I’ll never be attracted to anyone else’. You’re saying, ‘I promise to commit to you, despite my potential future attraction to other people’.
  • Relationships are hard for that very reason. Your body and your heart don’t stop finding the beauty and the attraction in other people simply because you’ve made a commitment to one person. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you’re drawn to someone else, it’s up to you to remove yourself from that situation before it becomes too hard to fight.

I ache, I smiled, I teared up, I hurt. One morning when I was with my colleague buying breakfast, she looked at me worried asking if I’m okay because I was tearing up, and I only said, I’m reading. ❤ This is what Colleen does to me.

THOUGHTS: Things I learned from my Ex


It’s 15 days before Heart’s Day and what better time to reflect on this. Don’t get me wrong. I’m still working on several of the points below but every person that you meet, every bond you’ve created, every memory that you treasure speaks volume and if you look at it hard enough, you’ll see that these experiences are bound to teach you something.

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  • There’s a life outside the relationship.

My friends used to tell me that when I first had a relationship, I forgot about them and that I was completely imprisoned by the relationship. It’s important to spend time with your partner but it’s also as important to spend time outside of your relationship, whether it is to set aside time for your hobby, spend a quiet time with your family, see your friends or whatever it is you like to do. Do it. Your partner is not your entire world. 

  • Learn to trust.

It may be difficult for someone who had an experience before, but your past is not your partner’s fault. If you love the person, trust that he will never hurt you intentionally just as you would not with him.

  • If you are truly important, he’ll wait.

Okay, this one. . . It’s a given. I was in High School. I was known for having the strictest parents alive. I had a school bus service in the morning and in the afternoon. Unlike the other students, I don’t get to socialize and go home whenever I want to. I can only socialize until a given time but I still had to ride with my bus. This certain suitor told me bluntly that the reason he stopped courting me was because I couldn’t get out of the house whenever he pleases. If he cares, if you’re important to him, he’ll spend time wherever you are, even if it’s just inside your house. 

  • Endings can mean a start something great.

It has to be. And that’s the only feasible explanation. God takes away a person because he has someone better for us. ❤ My marriage proves it. ❤ I am in a way, WAY better relationship now.

  • Appreciate the small things

You know how before it was taught to us that God appreciates the Php 10 from a beggar than a Php 1,000,000 from a Billionaire? It’s because the beggar gave everything he has. I was in a relationship before where my someone had to literally skip lunch and drink water from the cafeteria instead for a month to save Php 400 pesos to buy me a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts because she couldn’t save enough money to buy me cake? And honestly, it melted my heart. It’s really the small things that matter, the effort the other person gives. 

  • When you love someone, tell it to them. 

Life is short! If you feel it, tell it to them. If they don’t feel the same way, it’s okay. If they do, then great! Never miss a chance just because you fear rejection. 

From one of my most loved series and characters, ”If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing. Even if you’re scared that it’ll cause problems. Even if you’re scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it loud and you go from there”. – Mark Sloan

  • Never tolerate infidelity

Infidelity is breaking that sacred bond you have with your partner. A commitment is a commitment for a reason. I used to be in a semi-relationship with a guy that started when he had a girlfriend. He broke it off with her to be with me. But I realized, how will I be able to trust him to be completely faithful when I know for a fact what he’s capable of? Second Chances for infidelity is still a no for me. But it depends on your values in life.

  • Never pretend someone you’re not

This is pretty simple. If I pretend to obsess over football just because the guy I like loves football — Can I imagine myself pretending to watch football for the years to come? No. just be yourself. If you eat a LOT, eat a mouthful on your first date! Don’t starve yourself. Guys likes girls who are not as skinny as a skeleton! The relationship will lasts longer if you both feel comfortable with each other. 

  • Communication is key

I used to be one of those girls who would throw a tantrum out of nowhere. (I AM, rather) I have not been able to remedy this yet. HAHA. but most often than not, your significant others are not a mind reader. Sometimes, they have absolutely no idea what they did wrong so they will continue to do exactly that. For example, If I was scrolling my feed and I saw my husband liked his ex’s or his crush’s picture — I will  not mind him and I will intentionally be difficult. I won’t say anything. But, for him not to do that again, I will have to tell him how it made me feel so that he understands. (but this is me, still a work in progress though). Tell your someone how you feel. It’s better to express it than to hide it in the long run. 

  • Not one of my past is a mistake. 

People will come and go, whether it may be your partner or your friend. If a relationship failed, it may be that someone better will come along or that person or the relationship is meant to teach you something. Maybe your ex brought you back to your passion, maybe your ex helped you bloom, maybe your ex taught you to dance, maybe your ex opened you to a new world, etc. Maybe your past made you realize that everything has its reason and should be seen as an experience to learn from. 

BOOK REVIEW : P.S. I still love you by Jenny Han


GOODREADS: Lara Jean didn’t expect to really fall for Peter. She and Peter were just pretending. Except suddenly they weren’t. Now Lara Jean is more confused than ever.
When another boy from her past returns to her life, Lara Jean’s feelings for him return too. Can a girl be in love with two boys at once?

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Before Valentine’s Day and the release of the second franchise, I finished reading this as part of my reading challenge. ❤

I understand the hype for the trilogy  and I have not exactly read the third book but I liked the first one better. It’s a pretty easy light read but PK is exhausting and this second installment confirmed that I’m team john. ❤

I am definitely shipping for LJ and John Ambrose Mc Laren!!!! Chemistry between the two is undeniable and simple. It’s easy with him. He’s romantic and ideal and perfect in a sense.

What I didn’t like about the book was One, how confusing LJ was. I hate that she’s hung up on PK but still sends all those mix signals to johnny. And Two, that this PK is always choosing his ex girlfriend Gen. He may not see it as picking his ex over his present and that he’s only there for her as a friend but he’s not fucking considering how his girlfriend would feel. Right? Right? ‘I’m only there for her as a friend’ is total BS.

BUT, there’s a lot of things I liked too. I loved that the story line maintained the snail mail. It’s part of the charm of this whole trilogy. The letters of LJ and Johnny. ❤ just ❤ ❤ I love the USO Party  and the dance and dressing up. I can just imagine Johnny in his military uniform stopping in the driveway in his jaguar. GAAAHH. ❤ I love the idea of the pin, of how it symbolizes commitment to a certain girl back in the day. I love the snowball gift of johnny. It reminds you of the moment they shared when they snuck out and played in the snow. ❤ I’m not being bias but shit. I love all the conversations of LJ and Johnny. I don’t mean to exaggerate but literally all of them. ❤ ‘Thank for the save’. – ‘Anytime’ with a big grin on his face as they drive away. ❤ I love how people from Johnny’s school knows about LJ. ❤ I love how Johnny said, ‘Do you want to build a Snowman?’ I love the relationship of the father to his three daughters. I loved the moment he said, ‘It pains me that you didn’t come to me when things were so hard for you at school.’ Sometimes, a parent tries so hard.

SPOILER ALERT: I hate that LJ chose to be with PK. I hate that Johnny was left hanging in the process. I hate that Johnny had to say, ‘Did I even have a shot?’ fuckin breaks my heart.

I also like to commend J.H. of how the relationship was portrayed in the story. It exposes the character’s flaws. The relationship was definitely far from perfect unlike others with all love-love-love. As you read through the book, you can see how the characters learn to be in a relationship and their growth as a person.

Book Highlights: 

  • You only know you can do something if you keep on doing it.
  • People say the absence makes the heart grow fonder. I say proximity makes the heart grow fonder.
  • The thrill of a boy putting his hands on you for the first time.
  • Johnny: That peanut butter chocolate cake you baked was the best I ever ate.
  • It’s the little things, the small efforts, that keep a relationship going.
  • So what would you have asked for if you won? Johnny: Your peanut butter chocolate cake. ❤
  • I deserve to be someone’s number one girl.
  • Stormy Moment: What will I do now that peter’s not my boyfriend anymore? You’ll just do what you did before he was your boyfriend. You’ll go about your day and you will miss him at first but over time, it will ease. It will lessen. All you need is time and you, little one, have all the time in the world.’ It’s true. Stormy’s right.
  • I didn’t know you could miss someone even more acutely when they’re only a few feet away.
  • It can be tough with best friendships. You’re both growing and changing, and it’s hard to grow and change at the same rate.
  • What’s the fun in anything if there aren’t a few roadblocks to spice things up?
  • Stormy: You have to let yourself be fully present in every moment. Just be awake for it.
  • I don’t think a girl ever gets over losing her mom. I’m an adult and it’s completely normal and expected for my mom to be dead but I still feel like an orphan sometimes.
  • When you lose someone and it hurts, that’s when you know the love was real.
  • Jung: the connection between two people that can’t be severed, even when love turns to hate.
  • People come in and out of your life. For a time they are your world, they are everything. And then they are not. There’s no telling how long you will have them near.
  • I know now that I don’t want to love or be loved in half measures. I want it all, and to have it all, you have to risk it all.
  • Real isn’t how you are made. It’s a thing that happens to you. Does it hurt? Sometimes. When you are real, you don’t mind being hurt.

Anddd, that’s it!! Can’t wait for Valentines!!! Noah is coming here. ❤

BOOK REVIEW : A Wish for Us by Tillie Cole


GOODREADS: Nineteen-year-old Cromwell Dean is the rising star of electronic dance music. Thousands of people adore him. But no one knows him. No one sees the color of his heart. Bonnie Farraday lives for music. She lets every note into her heart, and she doesn’t understand how someone as talented as Cromwell can avoid doing the same. He’s hiding from his past, and she knows it. She tries to stay away from him, but something keeps calling her back.

The story, it’s beautiful. I just read Thousand Boy Kisses and thought that Ticole is somehow Coho. I loved it so I decided to test my new adoration and boy was I right! Now I just want to read more Ticole because I know it’ll be worth my time.

I love stories that teaches us something new. And in this book, I learned more about synesthesia. I learned about music and tempo and rhythm and classic music.

  • The idea of time, moving, us being useless to stop it.
  • Even if something makes you hate music, whatever it is can often be the catalyst for your next great work.
  • Manners cost nothing, son. Always be gracious with those who want to help.
  • EASTON to BONNIE: She’s good people. She’s my sister. But she’s more than that. She’s my best friend. Damn, she’s my compass. What the hell is the world without Bonnie? Because I will see you again. Look up, and I will always be there with you. And when it’s your time, I’ll be the one to come and get you.
  • I had made many wishes in my life, but Cromwell had been the wish that I never made.
  • Cromwell Dean was an enigma.
  • And like a forever raging sea, my heart never calmed.
  • Her laughter illuminated the room.
  • She was my silver.
  • Obstacles in life sometimes make you look at the world in ways you never did before.
  • Maybe you’re the guardian angel that has arrived to get her through all this.
  • She walked into my life like a tornado and knocked me on my ass. And I fell in love with her. Not just a little bit either. She became my whole world.
  • Cromwell Dean was my sun.
  • The girl, that with one single smile, still completely illuminated my world.

Let’s give Cromwell’s Father the credit he deserves. Yeah? First, he knew from the start that crom was not his son. But he gave him his unconditional love and unwavering support. He swallowed his pride and asked for the help of the person who got his wife pregnant. It must have been hard for him but for his son, he would do anything to achieve his full potential. Hands down.

And Cromwell? to hate his dad so much and blame him for robbing him off his childhood, lashing out and eventually finding out that your father has been killed? To think about the last things you said? That his father died not knowing that he appreciated all his efforts and that he also loved him back. That must have been difficult, the guilt eating you every single day and later finding out that he was not even your father? Whew.

I have to say that I admire how much Easton and Bonnie loved each other. The sibling love for each other is incomparable. The way they hold on to each other, the way they both get strength from each other and how they look out for each other. Wow. And this is ONE BIG SPOILER: Easton taking his own life and eventually saving the life of his twin sister for having a heart failure is BEYOND HEARTBREAKING. My mind is blown and heart is inconsolable.

The creativity, talent and passion in the whole book is truly felt. The lyrics of the song pierces the heart and stays there. The talent and their love for music is all consuming.

I have to say, now I am more freaking intrigued to read Ticole’s other books. ❤ ❤

BOOK REVIEW : A Thousand Boy Kisses by Tillie Cole


GOODREADS: One kiss lasts a moment. But a thousand kisses can last a lifetime. One boy. One girl. A bond that is forged in an instant and cherished for a decade. A bond that neither time nor distance can break. A bond that will last forever. Or so they believe.
A  seventeen-year-old Rune Kristiansen returns from his native Norway to the sleepy town of Blossom Grove, Georgia, where he befriended Poppy Litchfield as a child, he has just one thing on his mind. Why did the girl who was one half of his soul, who promised to wait faithfully for his return, cut him off without a word of explanation? Rune’s heart was broken two years ago when Poppy fell silent. When he discovers the truth, he finds that the greatest heartache is yet to come.

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A heartbreaking story of a bestfriend turned to a lover story. It’s not about betrayal or cheating or losing that friendship. It’s more than that. I felt the pain and if I were Rune, I don’t think I would have survived that. :/

  • I always feel better when the light of my life sits beside me and talks to me some.
  • This life, well, it’s just a great big adventure while we have it. An adventure to enjoy and love with all of our heart before we go on to the greatest adventure of all.
  • Not just everyday kisses, but the special ones, the ones where my heart almost burst from my chest.
  • Poppymin! It means MY poppy. For infinity, forever and always. You’re my poppy. I had blinkers on to any other girl. I only saw Poppy. In my world, only she existed.
  • Maybe it was because sometimes all we get are moments. There are no do-overs, whatever happens in a moment defines life – perhaps it is life.
  • Because something so beautiful can never last forever, shouldn’t last forever. It stays for a brief moment in time to remind us how precious life is. Because something so completely perfect and special is destined to fade.
  • Maybe we’re like the cherry blossom, Rune. Like shooting stars. Maybe we loved too much too young and burned so bright that we had to fade out. Extreme beauty, quick death. We had this love long enough to teach us a lesson. To show us how capable of love we truly are.
  • Why does it take a life ending to learn how to cherish each day? Why must we wait until we run out of time to start to accomplish all that we dreamed, when once we had all the time in the world? Why don’t we look at the person we love the most like it’s the last time we will ever see them? Because if we did, life would be so vibrant. Life would be so truly and completely lived.
  • We should strive for all those precious breaths to be taken in as many precious moments we can squeeze in this short time on earth.
  • We all  have people who carry us through the worst times, the saddest times, the times that seem impossible to break free from. In one way or another, whether it’s through the Lord or a loved one or both, when we feel like we can’t walk on anymore, someone swoops in to help us, someone carries us through.
  • Rune gave Poppy her dream to be able to play in one of the biggest stage: I still wanted you to have this. To have known what this dream would feel like. I wanted you to have a chance in the spotlight. A spotlight that, in my opinion you deserve, not as the person I love most in the entire world but as the best cellist. Tonight, you have the stage, poppymin. I just wanted you to have this dream fulfilled. ❤ ❤
  • Poppy gave Rune back his passion to take photographs. She took him to see an exhibit of a famous photographer with pictures that changed the history of the world: A picture of Esther, his wife was included. It reads that even though the picture of his wife didn’t change the world, Esther changed his. ❤ ❤
  • Love was simply the tenacity to make sure that the other half of your heart knew he or she was adored in every way. In every minute of every day.
  • Poppymin, she was my cherry blossom. An unrivaled beauty, limited in its life. A beauty so extreme in its grace that it can’t last. It stays to enrich our lives, then drifts away in the wind. Never forgotten. Because it reminds us we must live. That life is fragile, yet in that fragility, there is strength. There is love. There is purpose. It reminds us that life is short, that our breaths are numbered and our destiny is fixed, regardless of how hard we fight. It reminds us not to waste a single second. Live hard, love harder. Chase dreams, seek adventures – capture moments. Live beautifully.
  • Rune on the Anniversary of Poppy’s death: lighted one thousand lanterns, where there kisses were written – to reach poppy in heaven. — You were enough to last a lifetime.

I love every chapter. I loved the whole book. They are so much in love. They were both pouring their selves to each other. It’s a bit dramatic but god, their acts of love, the theater and the exhibit? ❤ ❤ ❤ my heart on the floor. and the letter of Poppy? Bawling!

BOOK REVIEW : It ends with us by Colleen Hoover


GOODREADS: Sometimes it is the one who loves you who hurts you the most.

Lily hasn’t always had it easy, but that’s never stopped her from working hard for the life she wants. So when she feels a spark with a gorgeous neurosurgeon named Ryle Kincaid, everything in Lily’s life suddenly seems almost too good to be true. As questions about her new relationship overwhelm her, so do thoughts of Atlas Corrigan — her first love and a link to the past she left behind. He was her kindred spirit, her protector. When Atlas suddenly reappears, everything Lily has built with Ryle is threatened.

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When you love a person, you believe them. You believe their promises, their lies and just about anything. You believe in the goodness of their hearts. You believe in their intentions and you believe and hope that they will change.

As the story progressed, I am in awe of lily’s character. As vulnerable as she is, it took a lot of strength to take control of her life, even if there was a child on the way.

  • I feel like everyone fakes who they really are, when deep down we’re all equal amounts of screwed up. Some of us are just better at hiding it than others.
  • NAKED TRUTHS
  • There is no such thing as bad people. We’re all just people who sometimes do bad things.
  • You’re already my favorite person but now you’re making it really unfair to all the other humans because no one will ever be able to catch up to you.
  •  I like you. Everything about you. Being inside you, being outside of you, being near you. I like it all.
  • All humans make mistakes. What determines a person’s character aren’t mistakes we make, it’s how we take those mistakes and turn them into lessons rather than excuses.
  • Life is a funny thing. We only get so many years to live it, so we have to do everything we can to make sure those years are full as they can be. We shouldn’t waster time on things that might happen someday or maybe even never.
  • Maybe love isn’t something that comes full circle. It just ebbs and flows, in and out, just like the people in our lives.
  • Just because we didn’t end up on the same wave, doesn’t mean we aren’t still a part of the same ocean.
  • In the future, if by some miracle you ever find yourself in the position to fall in love again, fall in love with me.
  • Just because someone hurts you doesn’t mean you can simply stop loving them. It’s not the person’s actions that hurt the most. It’s the love. If there was no love attached to the action, the pain would be a little easier to bear.
  • She left someone she loved so that her daughters would never think that kind of relationship is okay.

My heart simply breaks for both Lily and Ryle. :/  How can you ever willingly give up someone you love and choose yourself? I think Domestic Violence happens to a lot of relationships, not just to women. But only a few brave souls can have the courage and strength to do what lily chose.

I think it makes it even harder if you love the person. It is never easy to just leave and end things. Coho taught me that right choice will always be the hardest ones. I hope I never get the chance to ever be in the same position.