Do I wither up and disappear or do I make the best of my time left?
Are you giving to your community? Are you at peace with yourself?
Are you trying to be as human as you can be?
This, I believe is a straight up classroom type life lessons as portrayed by Mitch himself and his tuesday conversations with his previous professor who is currently battling cancer. Here, Morrie asks Mitch to accompany him to his last days as he teaches each and everyone of us how to live by learning how to die.
*** second book to re-read! ❤
Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do. Accept the past as past without denying it or discarding it. Learn to forgive yourself and others. Don’t assume that it’s too late to get involved.
Dying is only one thing to be sad over. Living unhappily is something else.
The culture that we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We’re teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say it the culture doesn’t work for you, don’t buy it. Create your own.
The tension of opposites? Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn’t. Most of us live somewhere in the middle. So which side wins? Love wins. Love always wins.
So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half – asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning to your life is to devote yourself to loving others, to your community and to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.
Death is the great equalizer, the one big thing that can finally make strangers shed a tear for one another. The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love and to let it come in. Love is the only rational act.
II. FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF
I give myself a good cry when I need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life. A thing is only horrible if you see it that way.
Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing? We all need teachers in our lives.
Everyone knows they’re going to die. but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently. To know you’re going to die and to be prepared for it at any time. That way, you can actually be more involved in your life while you’re living. Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.
There is no foundation, no secure ground upon which people may stand today if it isn’t the family. Family is not about justt love but letting others know there’s someone who is watching out for them.
Don’t cling to things because everything is impermanent. Detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That’s how you are able to leave it. Wash yourself with emotion. It won’t hurt you. It will only help.
VII. FEAR OF AGING
It’s like going back to being a child again. We all know how to be a child. It’s inside all of us. It’s just remembering how to enjoy it. Aging is not just decay. It’s growth. It’s more than the negative you’re going to die, it’s also the positive that you understand you’re going to die and that you live a better life because of it. You have to find what’s good and true and beautiful as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. How can I be envious of where you are — when I’ve been there myself?
Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not substitute for tenderness. Know what really gives you satisfaction? Offering others what you have to give. Devote yourself to loving others, and devote yourself to your community and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone. Do the kind of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won’t be dissatisfied, you won’t be envious, you won’t be longing for somebody else’s things.
IX. LOVE GOES ON
Love is how you stay alive, even after you’re gone. As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still there. You live on — in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured. Death ends a life, not a relationship.
In marriage, you get tested. You find out who you are, who the other person is, and how you can accommodate or don’t. If you don’t respect the other person, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don’t know how to compromise, if you can’t talk openly about what goes on between you and if you don’t have a common set of values in life, you’re gonna have trouble — and the biggest one? your belief in the importance of your marriage.
The big things — how we think, what we value– those you must choose yourself. You can’t let anyone or society determine those for you. Every society has its own problems. The way you do it, is not to run away. You have to work at creating your own culture. No matter where you live, the biggest defect we human beings have is our shortsightedness. We don’t see what we could be. We should be looking at our potential, stretching ourselves into everything we can become. We all need others.
Be compassionate. Take responsibility for each other. If we only learned those lessons, this world would be so much a better place.
Forgive yourself before you die and forgive others. Make peace.