EVERYDAY: Our Wedding (Bride’s Vows)


November 24, 2019, the most magical day of my life. ❤

Documenting this here so I can read it over and over and over again and be reminded of my commitment to my husband.

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”8 years ago, I walked into BOC looking to start my career. Instead, I met the man I was going to marry.

Bab, thank you for always braving the Saturday El Shaddai just to bring me home. Thank you for giving me your chicken skin, knowing I hate the white portion. Thank you for always giving me the last bite of our sizzling tofu.

Thank you for always supporting me & pushing me to be my best, especially when I don’t believe in myself. Thank you for trusting that I can do more. I promise I’ll always be here to support you whether you want to pursue law or try out your singing career. Thank you for never making me feel less for all my shortcomings & lastly, Thank you for enduring the boy – jojo tandem. (Everybody knows how strict my parents are).

I don’t know where life will take us but I promise that we’ll get through anything as long as we face them together. I promise not just to be your wife but to continue being your bestfriend. I promise to hear you out life a friend even in your ugliest & work it out as your wife.

I know marriage won’t always be a happy ending. There will be days we can’t bear to be with each other. I know that we will have to work on our relationship every single day, but it will be easy knowing it’s with you. I know that both of us will change but I promise to love not just the person that you are now but the person that you will become, no matter how different you may be. If I have to wake up 40 years from now and see a bald fat guy, I want it to be with you, double chin & all.

I promise not to give up on us & to do everything to make our marriage work. I promise not to run when things get hard. I promise I’ll stay even when you’re annoying as hell. I promise to love you when it’s easy & even more when it’s not. Most importantly, I promise to still hold you hand even when you wear crocs in public.

Baba, I’m not sure if you remember. But 5 years ago, I wrote a blog about you. It says,

Someday, I want to experience freaking out of wedding details. I want to argue with you what flowers should go inside the church, or what color of tux should you wear, who our ring bearer is, the color of our invitation, what our theme song is, what flavor our wedding cake will be or what band should we hire. I want to take hundreds of prenuptial pictures with you. I want to attend a wedding rehearsal and not be scared that you might flip out because I am aware of how much you love me. Someday, I want to have hundreds and thousands of butterflies in my stomach not because I’m nervous but because I am full of excitement to finally be called your wife. I want to wear a sparkling fantasy shoes because I’ve already met my prince charming. An intelligent-charming-handsome lawyer slash banker slash archaeologist prince charming. I want to feed you our cake and let you drink wine knowing that I will be doing it for the rest of our lives. Lastly, I want to walk down the aisle perfectly happy knowing that all of my dreams are waiting for me, ready to take my hand and exchange vows in front of god and in front of our families and friends. I want to walk down the aisle and say I do to the man of my dreams. 

Today, baba, I get to fulfill that dream, that blog I wrote 5 years ago. Today, I’ll be your wife. I love you baba. I can’t wait to take on life with you.

MOVIE REVIEW: HOPE SPRINGS


I stumbled upon an article about failed marriages and there it reveals links on the movies that characterizes failed marriages — so, intrigued. I downloaded this movie.

 

Instantly, it made me rethink of getting married. My first thought: How can a man loves you so much at once, then suddenly get stuck and left no trace of affection? It pains me just thinking about it.

A few realizations:

  • It’s no secret that women like to give hints but not explicitly saying it to their partners. It’s no secret either that men, most of the time doesn’t have a clue. COMMUNICATE. I, for one would tell my SO that it’s okay for him to stay at home during our date days but deep down, all I’m wishing is for him to visit me, take me out and still spend the day with me because he wants to, because he can’t wait to see me and because he wants to be with me too even though I already told him that it’s okay. Most of the time, women say one thing but mean another. Ladies, speak up. The only obvious reason is your partner wouldn’t know if you don’t tell him. Men, get to know your partners, know when they’re being serious and look for the subtle hints.
  • Determine your love language. It’s important to express your love the way your partner prefers it for a better chance of appreciation. May it be physical touch, vocal such as compliments, quality time, etc.
  • BE OPEN.  This goes hand in hand with communicating with your partner. If there’s a specific act that you want to try in the bedroom, a fantasy or a secret, tell it to your partner. If you disapprove, at least try then tell your partner the reason behind.
  • TOUCH EACH OTHER.  Just touch. Remember you once couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. A simple holding hands, a kiss on the cheek, a hug while washing the dishes or a hugging your husband from the back while he reads his newspaper will go long way.
  • APPRECIATE EACH OTHER. When your wife prepares you a meal, appreciate it. She allotted her time preparing the food. It’s no like she had nothing better to do. When your husband provides for your family, appreciate it. There are a lot of men who are not responsible enough to provide for their families. When your wife cleans up after your laundry, prepares your clothes the next day, fixes the bed in the morning, appreciate her. She does this because she loves you and she wants to be a good for you. When your husband picks you up at work and drives you to work every morning, appreciate him. He woke up early too. He drove you to your workplace even though it’s out of his way. You get the picture. Appreciate your SO, before it’s too late. Appreciate the little things before you miss out on them. You will never really notice the small things they do not until you have a messy house and a disrupted life already. 
  • IT TAKES TWO.   You are in a marriage for a reason. It is because you both have each other for everything. It means you both committed to a lifetime together. You both have to put an effort into the relationship. It takes work. It’s not all rainbows and unicorns.

 

Love, like I said. I promise to always try. I promise not to give up on us. I promise to be like Kay who will do everything to make our marriage work. I promise not to run when things get tough. I love you.

MOVIE REVIEW: BEST OF ME


Think of it as the Notebook with a very minimal twist but with the same gruesome ending. As others have observed, you can always expect someone dead by the end of the story if it was written by Nicholas Sparks.

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Okay, so same with the Notebook, the movie Best of Me is a love story that started out as two high school students fell in love with each other, the lady grew up in a wealthy family, the boy in a troubled family. The wealthy father offers a sum of money to the boy to leave his daughter because poor, troubled boys do not mix well with their rich, sophisticated daughters. The dismay and disapproval of the parents was carried by the daughters until the girl finally has another life. Boy meets Girl again after several years and they both tried to relive the love that was abandoned. They live on a fantasy temporarily, went back to their present life and then some tragedy happens at the end.

So what do I like about the movie?

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  1. The girl was wearing nothing but dresses.
  2. The girl was the first one to make a move. – and it’s not so bad. Why do people judge a girl who makes the first move and call her out as promiscuous? Double Standards again.
  3. Dates are always involves nature and not malls or technology.—unlike today’s time where watching movies in big theatre malls with lazy boys was a thing. (as in the movie, afternoons would be spending time at the park, oversee the lake, cook dinner, dance in the livingroom or just talk in the bench outside the house)
  4. They have a secret spot above the water storage tank, and it’s their world and just theirs alone.
  5. The kindness and generous accommodation of the old man to strangers to the point of providing for his shelter, clothing, allowance and an abundance of love.
  6. The IT girl finally was in her right mind to finally be attracted to a man who has brains and not just some jock.

and what are the quote worthy lines?

  1. “That’s why I loved being with you. We could do the simplest things, like toss starfish into the ocean and share a burger and talk and even then I knew that I was fortunate. Because you were the first guy who wasn’t constantly trying to impress me. You accepted who you were, but more than that, you accepted me for me. And nothing else mattered– not my family or your family or anyone else in the world. It was just us.”
  2. Don’t take my advice. Or anyone’s advice. Trust yourself. For good or for bad, happy or unhappy, it’s your life, and what you do with it has always been entirely up to you.
  3. “Life was messy. Always had been and always would be and that was just the way it was, so why bother complaining? You either did something about it or you didn’t, and then you lived with the choice you made
  4. There’s a lot of magic between you too, ain’t no denying that. And magic makes forgettin’ hard.
  5. I want to wake up with you beside me in the mornings. I want to spend my evenings looking at you across the dinner table. I want to share every mundane detail of my day with you and hear every detail of yours. I want to laugh with you and fall asleep with you in my arms.
  6. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt as happy as I did that day, but then again, it was always like that when we were together. I never wanted it to end
  7. The truth is, the world isn’t easy for any of us. It never has been and it never will be.
  8. Everyone makes mistakes, even if some are worse than others. Accidents happen
  9. but then life had a way of stamping out that intensity of passion; she’d learned all too well that love wasn’t always enough.
  10. “You’ll make mistakes and struggle like everyone, but when you are with the right person, you’ll almost perfect joy, like you are the luckiest person who ever lived. And that means you’ll love and be loved…and in the end, nothing else really matters.
  11. Now it was coming to an end, and it was like he was watching the last flicker of light wink out in the darkness of an endless tunnel.
  12. memories are funny things. Sometimes they’re real, but other times they change into what we want them to be.

This though is one of the feel-good movies when you just want to curl in the couch and eat some popcorn on a lazy weekend. 😀

THOUGHTS: Some pointers for Marriage.


I think it’s the idea of being married that makes people tend to slack of with the mindset, ‘Yes, I’m married. No matter how I act, she’s my wife / he’s my husband, so he won’t leave me.’ or he won’t leave me, we’re married’. What’s the result?

  1. Things get routinary.
  2. No more small surprises.
  3. Women wear baggy pants all he time.
  4. Men fart really loud in front of the dining table.
  5. Kiss don’t last more than a minute.
  6. They don’t cuddle after waking up.
  7. No time for sex. It’s about the kids.
  8. They don’t go on dates anymore.
  9. Women scatter their shoes at the end of the stairs.
  10. Men leave their dirty clothes on the floor.
  11. Women leave their hair on the shower drainage.
  12. Men leave the toilet seat up.
  13. Women neglect the noise from their blow dryer.
  14. Couples shout at each other.
  15. Couples tend to focus at each other’s faults.
  16. Men start to look at younger, sexier women.
  17. Women nag their man about everything.
  18. Men spend their waking hours at the office.
  19. Women crown every corner of their husband’s life.
  20. Men hide their things and messages.

Girls, don’t nag. You, yourselves get irritated when your mom tries to nag you when you were a kid. So why do it now? And no, being married doesn’t mean you stop fixing yourself. It only means that you have to be made up for your husband and not for everybody else. It is for your own sake. If you don’t want your husband to hunt like wolves for younger women, then for godsakes, do your hair, put some lipstick on, dress nicely and sexy. It doesn’t have to be everyday but continue to take care of your look and body. It’s obvious that you clog the shower, it’s your hair – so pick it up and throw it in the trash.

Boys, we love you. You know that. But do not ever fart in front of our faces out of habit and not saying excuse me. Mind your manners, still. Surprise us. We’re not asking for fireworks all the time. Visit us at our office or at the doorstep of our house with just a handwritten letters – that would be enough. And yes, we want letters – may it be a simple hi, we want those. A simple text would do. And for god sakes, at least let us know where the fuck you are and who you’re with. And sometimes, please do understand that taking care of the kids the whole day will take every cell of your wife’s body and dump it in the trash so when you ask for sex, empathize please. Cuddle. Hold us in bed, spoon us.

Communicate. Be loyal. Love and cherish each other. Simple but difficult to execute. Both of you will have to work on your commitment to each other.