BOOK: Barking up the Wrong Tree by Eric Barker: Chapter 4


The Surprising science behind why everything you know about success is mostly wrong.

Chapter 4: It’s not what you know, It’s who you know (unless it really is what you know) What can we learn about the power of networks from hostage negotiators, top comedians and smartest person who ever lived

LRM_EXPORT_44167094172393_20190309_090732471

  • Paul Erdos loved to collaborate. He lived out of a suitcase and routinely traveled to 25 countries, eventually working with 500 other mathematicians. ‘Erdos Number’ – a measure of how close you are to working with Paul.
  • Research shows that you don’t actually need to know more to be seen as a leader. Merely by speaking first and speaking often – people come to be seen as El Jefe and those who initially act shy in groups are perceived as less intelligent.
  • To get ahead, you need to self-promote. This comes naturally to extroverts and is actually more important than competence when it comes to being seen as a leader.
  • Having a large network opens you up to more opportunities, it exposes you to all kinds of other new possibilities.
  • Introversion predicts academic performance better than cognitive ability.
  • If you can’t stand a moment aloe, get that MBA and chase that leadership position over a passive workforce. But if people drive you crazy, dive deep into your passion, earn those ten thousand hours and be renowned as the best in your field.
  • Adam Grant: Read each situation carefully and ask yourself: What do I need to do right now to be most happy or successful?
  • When we collaborate – the gains can be exponential. But when we don’t communicate, we can end up not only missing those benefits but also getting our efforts jammed.
  • Adam Rifkin: Be a friend. It is better to give than to receive. Look for opportunities to do something for the other person, such as haring knowledge or offering an introduction to someone that person might not know but would be interested in knowing. Do not be transactional. Do not offer something because you want something in return. Instead, show a genuine interest in something you and other person have in common.
  • The Rule of Thumb in friendship: Be socially optimistic. Assume other people will like you and they probably will.
  • The groups you associate with often determine the type of person you become.
  • Thank the people around you. Relationships are the key to happiness and taking time to say ‘thanks’ renews that feeling of being blessed.

 

Fundamentals of Friendship

  1. You like Ironman? I like Ironman too. – Introduce yourself. We all choose to be friends with people who are like us.
  2. Listen and Encourage other toddlers. – Ask them questions and listen. You’re likely to hear something you can connect over. Asking people questions about themselves can create a bod as strong as lifelong friendship in a surprisingly short amount of time. Stop thinking about what you’re going to say next and focus on what they’re saying now. Don’t be afraid to pay the person a sincere compliment. Asking for advise can really help others warm up to you. Ask what challenges people face. Everyone loves to complain a little about the things that stress them out.
  3. Be a giver. Share yout twinkies. – Offer to help people. When people say they’re having a trouble about something, find a way to help.

How to get an Amazing Mentor right for you? 

  1. Be a worthy pupil – When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
  2. Study them, really study them – Spend time and be intimately familiar with someone’s work and you want someone who scares you a bit.
  3. Wasting a mentor’s time is a mortal sin – Asking great questions is a perfect way to build a relationship. Never ask a mentor a question Google can easily answer for you.
  4. Follow up – The key is to stay relevant. You need to consistently hit them with a conversation to keep the relationship alive but without being a nuisance. Do what they said, get results and let them know they made a difference.

 

We all have stuff we can learn from someone else. 

BOOK: Barking up the Wrong Tree by Eric Barker: Chapter 3


The Surprising science behind why everything you know about success is mostly wrong.

Chapter 3: Do Quitters never win and Winners never quit? 

LRM_EXPORT_44486632170129_20190309_091252009

  • Creative individuals frame their experiences. They regard failure as a learning experience. They try to build upon its lessons in their future endeavors.
  • The capacity to continue trying despite repeated setbacks was associated with a more optimistic outlook in life.
  • Sometimes quitting is the smartest choice and giving up, when done right can make you a huge success too.
  • ‘Self Talk’ – It turns out when these words are positive, they have a huge effect on your mental toughness, your ability to keep going.
  • We’re not always right that we ‘can’t do it’. Sometimes there’s a way out that we didn’t see because we gave up.
  • ‘Depressive Realism’ – optimists lie to themselves. But if we all stop believing anything can change, nothing ever will. We need a bit of fantasy to keep us going.
  • It all comes down from the stories you tell yourself about the world. And that’s something you can change.
  • Optimists shape their stories according to 3 Ps: permanence, pervasiveness and personalization.
  • If life is all about pleasure, then when it ceases to be fun or immediately beneficial, we quit. When we step outside the wish for comfort, when we live for something greater than ourselves, we no longer have to fight the pain, we accept the pain as a sacrifice. And we don’t give up. It’s the stories we tell ourselves that keep us going. They can be a higher truth. Or in many cases, they don’t need to be true at all.
  • Frankl: What is to give light must endure burning.
  • Stories are the invisible undercurrent that promotes success in a shocking number of the most important areas of life. Stories are a filter, imposing order on an often chaotic world. Stories remove information. They make recollections less accurate. They are deliberately constructed, but life often isn’t. Stories can keep us going because of their inaccuracy. Stories aren’t perfect pictures of the world, but they allow us to succeed for this very reason. You weren’t ‘born to do anything in particular but when your ‘story’ says you were ‘born’ to do something, you perform better and persist.
  • A healthy minds tells itself flattering lies.
  • ‘Scrooge Effect’ – when you take a little time to think about death, you become more kind and generous to others. You put aside short-term goals for a moment and consider who you really want to be.
  • Fate is that thing we cannot avoid. It comes for us despite how we try to dun from it. Destiny is the thing we must chase, what we must bring to fruition. It’s what we strive toward and make true.
  • We are what we pretend to be. If you want to be a knight, act like a knight.
  • ‘Cognitive reappraisal’ – telling yourself a different story about what is happening. By engaging in cognitive reappraisal and telling ourselves a different story about what is happening, we an subvert the entire willpower paradigm.

Make it a game. Make your problems, struggles or goals a game and make it WNGF – Winnable, Novel Challenges, Goals and Feedback

  1. Winnable – Each game has clear rules. We intuitively know that and it makes us very positive about our chances if we persist.
  2. Novel Challenges – Good games make sure we’re always stimulates by something just a little different, honing our attention.
  3. Goals – Good games are very clear what you need to do to win. They serve to focus you and guide decision making.
  4. Feedback – the best way to motivate people is by facilitating small wins. Once a small win has been accomplished, forces are set in motion that favor another small win.

 

The Upside of Quitting

  • Everything we do in life is a trade – off. Choosing to do one thing means not doing something else.
  • Opportunity Cost – the price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.
  • Quit doesn’t have to be the opposite of grit. It has to be Strategic Quitting.
  • Once you’ve found something you’re passionate about, quitting secondary things can be an advantage, because it frees up time to do that number one thing.
  • Peter Drucker: time is the most important resource. Getting rid of everything that wasn’t moving the needle when it came to achieving your goals.
  • Know your number one priority. Then start quitting stuff that isn’t as important and see what happens.
  • You can do anything once you stop trying to do everything.
  • Try things. Quit what fails. Then apply grit.
  • The more experiments you make, the better. Fail fast, fail cheap.
  • Moving on from dead end pursuits is essential to the discovery of more promising paths.

So don’t be afraid to do some experiments and quit the ones that don’t work. It can lead to great things. You need to quit some things to find out what to be gritty at. And you need to try stuff knowing you might quit some of it to open yourself up to the luck and opportunities that can make you successful. 

BOOK: Barking up the Wrong Tree by Eric Barker: Chapter 2


The Surprising science behind why everything you know about success is mostly wrong.

Chapter 2: Do Nice Guys finish last? What can you learn about trust, cooperation and kindness.. from Gang members, pirates and serial killers

LRM_EXPORT_43978361497886_20190309_090423737

  • According to Jeffrey Pfeffer, managing what your boss thinks of you is far more important than actual hard work.
  • Brilliant but Cruel: If someone is too nice, we figure they must be less competent. In fact, being a jerk makes others see you as more powerful.
  • Why do jerks succeed? they’re assertive about what they want, and they’re not afraid to let others know about what they’ve achieved.
  • Ruut Veenhoven: The quality of society is more important than your place in the society.
  • Discipline of continuous dealings: When you know and trust someone, it makes a transaction smoother and faster. That means more transactions happen, producing a better market and more value for everyone involve.

 

Axelrod’s Four Lessons from TFT’s success: (tit for tat)

  1. Don’t be envious – Just because someone else wins, that doesn’t mean you lose. Sometimes that person needs the fruit and you need the peel. And sometimes the strategy that makes you lose small on this round makes you win big on the next. Don’t worry how well the other side is doing, worry about how well you’re doing. 
  2. Don’t be the first to defect – Not only in reciprocity one of the key elements of being influential and winning favor with others but it’s also essential that you go first. All the big winners are nice and all the big losers started off betraying.
  3. Reciprocate both cooperation and defection – Never betray anyone initially. But if a person cheats you, don’t be a martyr.
  4. Don’t be too clever :

 

SIX FAST RULES

  • Pick the right pond – the people who surround us often determine who we become.
  • Cooperate first – Go ahead and send that new inmate a gift basket. When the knives come out in prison yard, you’ll have a lot more people watching your back.
  • Being selfless isn’t saintly, it’s silly
  • Work hard but make sure it gets noticed – Jerks are not afraid to push a little. They self-promote. They negotiate. They make themselves visible.
  • Think long term and make others think long term – a person always discern on two things; whether a potential partner can be trusted and whether he is likely to be encountered again.
  • Forgive

BOOK: TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE BY MITCH ALBOM


Do I wither up and disappear or do I make the best of my time left?

Are you giving to your community? Are you at peace with yourself?

Are you trying to be as human as you can be?

This, I believe is a straight up classroom type life lessons as portrayed by Mitch himself and his tuesday conversations with his previous professor who is currently battling cancer. Here, Morrie asks Mitch to accompany him to his last days as he teaches each and everyone of us how to live by learning how to die.

*** second book to re-read! ❤

LRM_EXPORT_52712949630172_20180909_213510527

Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do. Accept the past as past without denying it or discarding it. Learn to forgive yourself and others. Don’t assume that it’s too late to get involved.

Dying is only one thing to be sad over. Living unhappily is something else.

The culture that we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We’re teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say it the culture doesn’t work for you, don’t buy it. Create your own.

The tension of opposites? Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn’t. Most of us live somewhere in the middle. So which side wins? Love wins. Love always wins.

So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half – asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning to your life is to devote yourself to loving others, to your community and to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

I. WORLD

Death is the great equalizer, the one big thing that can finally make strangers shed a tear for one another. The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love and to let it come in. Love is the only rational act.

II. FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF

I give myself a good cry when I need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life. A thing is only horrible if you see it that way.

III. REGRETS

Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing? We all need teachers in our lives.

IV. DEATH

Everyone knows they’re going to die. but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently. To know you’re going to die and to be prepared for it at any time. That way, you can actually be more involved in your life while you’re living. Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.

V. FAMILY

There is no foundation, no secure ground upon which people may stand today if it isn’t the family. Family is not about justt love but letting others know there’s someone who is watching out for them.

VI. EMOTIONS

Don’t  cling to things because everything is impermanent. Detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That’s how you are able to leave it. Wash yourself with emotion. It won’t hurt you. It will only help.

VII. FEAR OF AGING

It’s like going back to being a child again. We all know how to be a child. It’s inside all of us. It’s just remembering how to enjoy it. Aging is not just decay. It’s growth. It’s more than the negative you’re going to die, it’s also the positive that you understand you’re going to die and that you live a better life because of it. You have to find what’s good and true and beautiful as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. How can I be envious of where you are — when I’ve been there myself?

VIII. MONEY

Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not substitute for tenderness. Know what really gives you satisfaction? Offering others what you have to give. Devote yourself to loving others, and devote yourself to your community and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone. Do the kind of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won’t be dissatisfied, you won’t be envious, you won’t be longing for somebody else’s things.

IX. LOVE GOES ON

Love is how you stay alive, even after you’re gone. As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still there. You live on — in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured. Death ends a life, not a relationship.

X. MARRIAGE

In marriage, you get tested. You find out who you are, who the other person is, and how you can accommodate or don’t. If you don’t respect the  other person, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don’t know how to compromise, if you can’t talk openly about what goes on between you and if you don’t have a common set of values in life, you’re gonna have trouble — and the biggest one? your belief in the importance of your marriage.

XI. CULTURE

The big things — how we think, what we value– those you must choose yourself. You can’t let anyone or society determine those for you. Every society has its own problems. The way you do it, is not to run away. You have to work at creating your own culture. No matter where you live, the biggest defect we human beings have is our shortsightedness. We don’t see what we could be. We should be looking at our potential, stretching ourselves into everything we can become. We all need others.

Be compassionate. Take responsibility for each other. If we only learned those lessons, this world would be so much a better place.

XII. FORGIVENESS

Forgive yourself before you die and forgive others. Make peace.

 

BOOK: GOODBYE DAYS by JEFF ZENTNER


What if you could spend one last day with someone you lost?

30649795

GOODREADS: ‘One day Carver Briggs had it all—three best friends, a supportive family, and a reputation as a talented writer at his high school, Nashville Academy for the Arts.

The next day he lost it all when he sent a simple text to his friend Mars, right before Mars, Eli, and Blake were killed in a car crash.

Now Carver can’t stop blaming himself for the accident, and he’s not the only one. Eli’s twin sister is trying to freeze him out of school with her death-ray stare. And Mars’s father, a powerful judge, is pressuring the district attorney to open a criminal investigation into Carver’s actions.

Luckily, Carver has some unexpected allies: Eli’s girlfriend, the only person to stand by him at school; Dr. Mendez, his new therapist; and Blake’s grandmother, who asks Carver to spend a Goodbye Day with her to share their memories and say a proper goodbye to his friend.’

  • Death steals everything except our stories
  • Funny how people move through this world leaving little pieces of their story with the people they meet, for them to carry. Makes you wonder what’d happen if all those people put their puzzle pieces together.
  • Sometimes pain makes us do bizarre things.
  • – I like the relationship of Blake and the grandma. How he spent saturday morning with her fishing although they are bad at fishing, just so they can bond together.
  • What do you think it takes to keep you out of heaven?
  • I think the only person who knows someone completely is that person. And even then, not always.
  • We go about our lives doing everything we can to keep from looking silly.
  • No one knows how anybody lives through anything. People just do.
  • I wish I’d held on to every moment with him the way a drowning person holds a life preserver.
  • What if there’s a god who’s so much bigger and more powerful than anything that he build universes like ships in bottles, and no matter how far you look or reach, you can’t see or tough outside the bottle?
  • For the most part, you don’t hold the people you love in your heart because they rescued you from drowning or pulled you from a burning house. Mostly you hold them in your heart because they save you, in a million quiet and perfect ways from being alone.
  • Nobility has a funny way of disappearing when accountability raises its ugly head.
  • Have you ever done something similar to this with your own parents? where you tell them who you are? 

BOOK: SAD GIRLS by LANG LEAV


School is almost out for Audrey, but the panic attacks are just beginning. Because Audrey told a lie and now her classmate, Ana, is dead. Just as her world begins to spin out of control, Audrey meets the enigmatic Rad—the boy who could turn it all around. But will their ill-timed romance drive her closer to the edge?

 The lie that Audrey was really creepy, gross and just downright disgusting. How can a father rape his own daughters? That would be one of the worse. —- Although it’s not far from reality, with the crimes nowadays. It’s just one of the worse lies.  And how can Rad not do anything about it? Was it out of fear? But if you love the girl, speak. It’s not also right to let someone else get the blame, even if it wasn’t intentional.

 ·         But you can’t make people listen. They have to come around in their own time, wondering what happened and why the world blew up around them.

·         She carried herself like a storm or a melodrama. She could walk into a room and instantly change the atmosphere.

·         The most beautiful things are damaged in some way.

·         I can’t live my whole life worrying about every damn thing people are saying about me.

·         There are millions of books out there. We could be living all sorts of lives.

·         Its human nature I suppose. To have another person validate your own unique view of the world.

·         It’s about running your own race.

·         Write something that will make sense ten years from now.

·         Writing was cathartic for me.

·         All sad people write. A way of working through things that feel unresolved, like undoing a knot. People who are prone to sadness are more likely to pick up a pen.

·         Sometimes, we get attached to things, just for the sake of it. Long after we’ve outgrown it.

·         You can’t go through your life without hurting people. It’s unrealistic.

·         What if I’m making a huge mistake? Then make it.

·         Isn’t it weird? You can create something that is pure genius. But you have to get your timing right.

·         You and me – we’re meant to be rock solid, right? I always thought if nothing else worked out in my life, I’d still have you.

·         Our emotions pull us in different directions. The stronger the emotion, the greater the pull. Feelings are not always practical, nor do they make any logical sense. That’s just the way it goes.

·         The period where you cross the threshold into adulthood. And it’s meant to be a times that is as magical as it is unsettling. Your life is thrown into chaos and disarray. Think of it as your own tiny revolution.

·         Writing is the consolation price your’re given when you don’t get the thing you want the most.

·         She’s in every damn line he writes.

·         Our first love isn’t the first person you give your heart to – it’s the first one who breaks it.

·         Too many great things in this world get lost because of reason.

·         You’ve got to do what your heart tells you to.

·         It was one of those apocalyptic ‘fuck you’ to the universe kind of moments.

BOOKS: BOOKS OF 2016


Every person has a literature inside them.

  1. The Girl who kissed a lie. (review)
  2. Me before you (review)
  3. A clockwork Orange (review)
  4. Lolita (review)
  5. Every Heart (review)
  6. Seagull (review)
  7. The Guarded Heart (review)
  8. Love, Lucas
  9. The Unbearable Lighness of Being
  10. Openly Straight (review)
  11. I’ll give you the Sun (review)
  12. When Summer Ends (review)
  13. I see you (review)
  14. The Night we said yes
  15.  You and Everything After

BOOKS: BOOKS OF 2015


Hiiii! This is just my way of keeping tabs on the books that I’ve read. So let me just list it down here. Okay?

  1. A long way down by Nick Hornby
  2. The gift of Acabar by Og Mandino
  3. More than her
  4. This is where I leave you
  5. Stargirl
  6. The Great Gatsby
  7. Never Never
  8. Beautiful you
  9. Never Eighteen
  10. Maybe Someday
  11. Kite Runner
  12. The Greatest Miracle in the world
  13. Gracefully Grayson
  14. Lift
  15. All the Bright Places
  16. Slammed
  17. The Perfectionists
  18. Playlist for the Dead
  19. Truest
  20. Colorless Tzukuru Takazaki

EVERYDAY: 25th


A simple white dress can make me happy. It need not be grand or branded or expensive. It just have to look pretty. I didn’t wish for any material thing. But God probably has other plans. Everything I wished for cannot be equated financially.
I was quite devastated with the way my birthday turned out to be. I always wanted to go somewhere new and do some new exciting stuff on my birthday (Batangas, Ilocos). But then the boyfriend cannot go on leave since he’s new in his job. Thus, the plan ended up having dinner with him, instead. Little did I know, someone would ring me at 5 in the morning, ask me to comedown and bring me flowers, cake and gifts. 🙂 (Thank you, love!) What’s more in store for my day?

20160127_055359

I had a quick lunch with my Dad on the way to some very important meeting – which I’d claim that turned out extremely good. Can you guess where?

20160127_154948

After my productive meeting, I met up with one of my bestfriends – Alex at Shangrila. We had lunch at Balboa. Scrap that. We had a BIG LUNCH.
We ordered for Nothing Hill at Php 268 It’s bacon and crab croquettes. I wasn’t able to taste this dish though.

20160127_16465020160127_164709
And I guess you already know my staple food – Four Cheese Pizza for Php 398.
You can never, ever go wrong with Four Cheese. It’s always a guarantee that it’ll be irresistibly good.

20160127_16464720160127_164658

Lastly, Picasso for Php 328 – a Truffle Mushroom Linguine.
It was bland. It was not a bad choice but there could a lot more better pasta than this one.

20160127_16465220160127_164716

And we obviously had fun goofing around.

 

Thank you for the Pandora, fart and for the book (which I already read) Bahaha. :*

20160127_163204

And for dinner, I had a quiet and romantic dinner with the boyfriend at Discovery Suites, 22 Prime Steak to be exact.

20160127_193214
We both ordered for the Baby Back Ribs that comes with their salad and a cocktail already.
20160127_200524

Thank you for making my day extra special, babe. And thank you for buying all the books on my list!
I’ll take care of the Kate Spade Earrings! 🙂 Thank youuu for all the trouble and a bigger thank you for the moral support on my meeting that day and for continuously being my fan. I love you.
20160127_235858

LEARN: Books for 2016


As Goodreads, kept reminding me of my Reading Challenge, I will now have to post my Book List. I challenged myself to read at least 25 books this year.

I have with me e-books. So I’m going to take advantage of those.

  1. The Girl who kissed a lie – DONE
  2. Me before you – CURRENTLY READING
  3. Always you
  4. I’ll give you the sun
  5. How I fly
  6. Love letters to the dead
  7. November 9
  8. Made you up
  9. The start of everything
  10. When summer ends
  11. Lola and the Boy next door
  12. Isla and the happily ever after
  13. Anna and the french kiss
  14. The rest of us just lives here
  15. Norwegian wood
  16. The lovesick cure
  17. Say what you will
  18. We were liars

Books I need to buy (only because it’s listed on the must read list)

  1. A clockwork Orange
  2. The April Witch
  3. Heaven has no favorites
  4. 1984
  5. Light breathing
  6. One hundred years of solitude
  7. The prince
  8. Lolita
  9. The master & margarita

Do you have any recommendations? Any books you’d like me to read first? What are your favorites? Please share it with me. 

 

BOOK: GRACEFULLY GRAYSON BY AMI POLONSKY


20873172._UY475_SS475_

White and Black, Light and Dark. And me, in the middle of it all Gray.

  1. How would it feel to hide an enormous, important, life threatening secret from your friends, neighbours maybe even the members of your family?
  2. Isolate vs Integrate
  3. I want to smash something into the mirror until I’m a million pieces on the ground, but I’m stuck in front of my reflection and I tell myself to breathe, to try harder. – I think it’s really hard to hate yourself and hate the person staring back at you in the mirror for pretending to be someone and you can’t do anything about it.
  4. The noise bounces like a million invisible Ping-Pong balls from the floor to the ceiling to the windows to the tops of the lunch tables and over and over again.
  5. I feel like I’ve been hit from behind by a wave of lava.
  6. It’s not easy to do something new. – It’s brave enough of him to voluntarily go to the try outs when he knows he’s going to be teased about it.
  7. My heartbeat is like a drumbeat. It surrounds me. Each gentle thud creates ripples all around me.
  8. My words hang in front of us like fog.
  9. My mother cannot exist without me, but I know what that means, I can’t exist without her. – Long hidden from the hearts of the teen ager’s raging hormones, lies this fact.
  10. But as long as I’m here in this cold, dark, evil land, I will never smile, I will never eat, I will never do anything but try to get home. – as long as I’m pretending to be a boy, I will never be happy.
  11. All I want is form him to be true to himself. – I wish every parent with a third gender child would feel the same way.
  12. My heartbeat is wild.
  13. Why would you want to set yourself up to be teased like that? Kids can be very cruel.
  14. Mom and Dad knew. They knew, and it was okay. – It means everything when your parents accept you for who you are, to feel comfortable in your skin, to have them love you. I wouldn’t care for anybody else’s approval.
  15. Everything keeps on flip-flopping back and forth, from bad to good, over and over again.
  16. The quiet hangs over us like a cloudy sky.
  17. If it’s not perfect, it’s not the end of the world. – If it’s not a happy ending, then it’s not finish. So smile. Life can be very cruel but there will always be something good waiting around the corner.
  18. Sometimes, everything needs to fall apart before it can come back altogether the way it’s supposed to. – Cliché, but I’d like to believe in this. To have something to look forward to. To have hope that things will get better and that everything has a purpose.
  19. It builds character to stand in someone else’s shoes. You know, try to see things from another perspective.
  20. Sometimes people make important decisions that are risky.
  21. My heartbeat and all the footsteps bounce like a million of bullets.
  22. I think to be brave, you have to be scared at the same time. To be brave means there’s something important you have to do and you’re scared, but you do it anyway.
  23. Take important action despite of fear.
  24. Risk taking is not free, but I can assure you, it’s worth it.

I take two tiny hairclips that I’ve been carrying around out of my pocket and arrange them neatly behind my ears. I smooth out my hair and walk out the doorway and into the hall.

 

                I think it’s mildly wild when you’re living in the closet. When you have to watch what you say, what you do, how you dress and the little things all the time. It’s tiring and happiness won’t be there as long as you’re in the hiding. I love homosexuals, they’re a lot easier to deal with. They usually carry a lot of baggage, but they’re also the kindest and happiest people to be around with.

                If you’re still in the closet, it’s okay. Let people know who you are. If they resent you, then they’re not your people. The people who truly loves you will accept you and love you no matter what.

BOOK: THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU BY JONATHAN TROPPER


When I watched the movie’s trailer, I decided to read the book first before actually watching it.

6224935

You know the movie? Well if you don’t you might want to click this link: this is where i leave you trailer

I would have probably killed my husband if he has been cheating on me. But this is not all about that. The book is about coming together as a family – all the bottled up emotions, hatred and all the secrets of a family.

Every family has a dysfunctional set up, it seems. We are all just good at hiding them and each of us deal with our family problems a little too differently. 

  1. Two people whose love became toxic, lobbing great regret grenades at each other.
  2. You get married to have an ally against your family.
  3. And where there was once the purest kind of love, there is now a snake pit of fury and resentment and a new dark and twisted love that hurts more than all the rest of it put together.
  4. I’ve never been shot, but this is probably what it feels like, that split second of nothingness, right before the pain catches up to the bullet.
  5. How the hell I could have been so damn oblivious.
  6. There’s nothing in life, really, to prepare you for the experience of seeing your wife have sex with another man.
  7. There would be a slew of painful questions that resolved nothing.
  8. I’d been forced into a movie, and there was nothing to do but follow the script.
  9. I was a whirling mass of outdated reflexes and violent impulses, and I had no idea what the hell I was supposed to do.
  10. A complete nervous breakdown was not out of the question.
  11. An irrevocable damage had been done, innocence had been lost and trust slaughtered, but still, it was the age old conundrum.
  12. My life was in a free fall and there was nowhere to turn.
  13. Rock bottom rose up to meet me.
  14. I feel his absence like a festering wound.
  15. At some point, you lose sight of your actual parents, you just see a basketful of history and unresolved issues.
  16. The first thing you do at the end is reflect on the beginning.
  17. But as you stand there shell-shocked in the charred ruins of your life, your mind will invariably go back to the time when it all started.
  18. You never forget your first time, no matter how much you’d like to.
  19. When does it all happen? In increments, so you can’t watch out for it, you can’t fix it.
  20. You learn not to think about what might have been, and to just appreciate what you have.
  21. It would be a terrible mistake to go through life thinking that people are the sum total of what you see.
  22. It’s just hard to see people from your past when your present is so catclysmically fucked.
  23. In real life, you don’t get to choose what you forget.
  24. Real life, it’s coming for us. Who knows where the hell we’ll end up?
  25. When you share all of the administrative headaches of life with someone else, small piles of unaddressed, quotidian resentments build up over time like plaque, lingering on the fringes of your consciousness even as you kiss, lick and fondle each other.
  26. Our minds, unedited by guilt or shame, are selfish and unkind, and the majority of our thoughts, at any given time, are not for public consumption, because they would either be hurful or else just makes us look like the selfih and unkind bastards we are. We don’t share our thoughts, we share carefully sanitized watered-down versions of them.
  27. You’ll never knoe if you keep indulging your hate and anger like the world owes you reparations.
  28. You’ll never know when it will be the last time. But if you could remember every last time, you’d never stop grieving.
  29. Never marry a beautiful woman. Worship them if you must, go to bed with them if you can – by all means, everyone should hava a carnal knowledge of physical perfection at least once in their life – but when it comes to marriage, it’s a losing proposition. You will never stop feeling like a gatecrasher at your own party. Instead of feeling lucky, you will spend your life on edge, waiting for the other stiletto to fall and puncture your heart like a bullet.
  30. I’m coming to the lonely conclusion that the only thing you can ever really know about anyone is that you don’t know anything abut them at all.
  31. We are ghosts, passing each other in a place, and it’s hard to say who pities whom more.
  32. The only thing more painful than not knowing is knowing.
  33. It’s a sad moment when you come to understand how truly replaceable you are.
  34. Even on the best of circumstances, there’s just something so damn tragic about growing up.
  35. That’s love in real life: messy and corrupt and completely unreliable.
  36. It would be nice to do that to just pick up from wherever you were that wasn’t working out for you and ride the winds to a better place.
  37. If only our conflicts could be resolved with a few grunts and a smack on the ass.
  38. Sometimes, contentment is a matter of will. You have to look at what you have right in front of you, at what it could be, and stop measuring it against what you’ve lost.
  39. There’s that leap you have to take, to shed your inhibitions and expose your naked impulses.
  40. Life is huge, but it can turn on a dime.
  41. We all start so damn sure, thinking we’ve got the world on a string. If we ever stopped to think about the infinite number of ways we could be undone, wed never leave our bedrooms.
  42. You can doo everything right and still end up alone, watching time run off the clock.
  43. Don’t get old, kid. That’s where I went wrong.
  44. Our past trails behind us like a comet’s tail, the future stretched out before us like the universe. Things happen. People get lost and love breaks.
  45. It’s amazing how harmless the world can sometimes seem.

BOOK: Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell


Why do we write? Why does a person write?

Because we like the sound of our own voices

To explore a new world

To be somewhere else

To make sense of ourselves

To show people what it’s like inside our heads

To stop being anything or anywhere at all

To leave our mark

To create something that will outlive us…