GOODREADS: Charlotte Davis is in pieces. At seventeen she’s already lost more than most people lose in a lifetime. But she’s learned how to forget. The broken glass washes away the sorrow until there is nothing but calm. Every new scar hardens Charlie’s heart just a little more, yet it still hurts so much. It hurts enough to not care anymore, which is sometimes what has to happen before you can find your way back from the edge.
Honestly, it took me longer than I expected. It’s not a light read and to put it out there, this book and the story can be a trigger for those with history of self harm, depressed or any suicidal thoughts.
Spoiler Alert? At seventeen years old, Charlie wakes up in Creeley, a rehab center for women who self-harm. Her father committed suicide by drowning himself, her mother gave up on her, her best friend, a fellow cutter is brain dead, she lived on the street, got sold for sex and her only friend who she likes only wanted to be friends.
I learned that talking really helps and it goes both ways. It’s important to talk to someone. Don’t keep whatever hatred or tension or sadness pent up. Lend an ear. Offer to listen to. People around you may be struggling too. Always be kind, a little kindness goes a long way. We never really know what battles other people are fighting everyday.
This is also the reason why I feel like I need to highlight Michael, Ariel, Linus and Felix. They are such a ray of sunshine in Charlie’s recovery. It’s nice how Mikey offered to help right off the bat, after not being in touch for so long. The lives of Michael and Linus also showed hope that things do get better and people get better. Michael has been sober and is living his best life. He realized he was tired of all the nonsense. Ariel! She’s what everyone needs! A mother figure to knock some sense in all of us. Don’t you think? Linus also told Charlie that she still struggles all the time and that sometimes, she just needs to wait it out. Felix, on the other hand has been helping Charlie on keeping busy and helping her translate all her feelings into paper.
Just one bit about Riley though – I loved his gift. You know how you need not tell the person what you like because he sees you? He watches you and knows what you want, what’s important to you and all? Like how Riley gave her this art book because he saw how her eyes sparkled when she was looking at this particular book.
I’m also happy with the way things ended. It should not always be a happy love story. It’s nice that Charlie is getting her shit together and that she did not llet Riley’s on stage performance affect her progress. And Oh! I also need to discuss Blue’s significant part on Charlie’s recovery. She was consistently there for her, making her feel at home, having someone to come home to, to talk to after work, someone who actually wants to be with you and appreciates your company – and I must say, it’s such a huge impact on Charlie’s confidence and mental health.
It’s not an easy read because it was so raw and honest. The author clearly depicts how the mind of a cutter runs. It’s so sad and I felt so lonely in some parts of the book. It tackles about hope, loneliness, self-harm and belonging – which everyone can relate to. This book opens you to a whole new world of understanding.
It’s such a help. Reading this book tells you that you are not alone and it’s so good to know that other people are experiencing this too, and maybe, just sometimes – that is enough, to know that someone else is feeling those too.
- I’m so lonely in the world I want to peel all of my flesh off and walk, just bone and gristle.
- I cut because I cut. It’s as simple as that. I need release. I need to hurt myself more than the world can hurt me, and then I can comfort myself. Hurting yourself makes you feel better. That somehow you can rid yourself of pain by causing yourself pain.
- You don’t know what it feels like to every day, every fucking day, be so lonely that this black hole inside is going to swallow you down.
- The moral of the story Charlie is this, don’t let the cereal eat you. It’s only a fucking box of cereal, but it will eat you alive if you let it.
- You own all of yourself, Charlie. Every last bit.
- Everything and everybody that’s busted can be fixed.
- The world hurts enough. Why fucking chase it down?
- Sometimes you have to let stuff go if you want to move forward, you know?
- How can you live in fear of your very self?
- Stuff happens. You just gotta keep on truckin.
- Everybody you meet is like a little mirror of you.
- Cutting is a fence you build upon your own body to keep people out but then you cry to be touched. But the fence is barbed. What then?
- You be you, Charlie. You be you.
- We have to choose who we want to be, not let the situation choose us.