BOOK: Where the Forest meets the Stars by Glendy Vanderah


GOODREADS: The girl calls herself Ursa, and she claims to have been sent from the stars to witness five miracles. With concerns about the child’s home situation, Jo reluctantly agrees to let her stay—just until she learns more about Ursa’s past.

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CAPTIVATING. The Story is simply captivating.

Where did this little girl come from? Is she a changeling? Should I be scared? Is this some sort of sci-fi fiction? Does she have powers? and why in the hell is this girl so smart?

As I kept on reading chapter after chapter, I felt nothing but pure curiosity how this story unfolds, what secret ursa is keeping and is she really from another universe? Man! Ursa got her story figured out! From her earpood and hetrayeh to the quarks!!

In a way, everyone needs to be more like Ursa. She is stubborn, knows what she wants and fights for it, courageous, strong willed, resourceful and curious about every little thing! AND, she sees the joy in all places! ❤

This is my first time to read a Vanderah and I’m sure as hell won’t doubt to read another one. ❤ (Two days too! )

EAT PARANAQUE: WING BITES


It’s this somewhat obscure place along Sucat, Paranque. It’s not hidden, the signage is screaming from the road but I never noticed this place until now. OR, it’s probably the wing hater in me that prevented me to see. Haha.

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The place is not complicated, basically just tables and chairs. It’s a bit messy, plastics here and there. The dips / sauce is smeared on the tables.

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They have no Ala Carte, all our unlimited with different price points and you get to enjoy 12 different flavors. 😀 If you’re not screaming for joy, then I don’t know what is wrong with you. 😛 It’s Php 206 for Unli Wings and Rice!

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We had only 3 sets and you can order a bunch of flavors in 1 set already. 😀 and we are full by the third set!

And the aftermath . . . .

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I mostly enjoyed the company of my best friends which I normally don’t get to see. 😛

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The boyfriend will definitely enjoy this. ❤

 

BOOK: HOPELESS by Colleen Hoover


GOODREADS: Sometimes discovering the truth can leave you more hopeless than believing the lies…

That’s what seventeen-year-old Sky realizes after she meets Dean Holder. A guy with a reputation that rivals her own and an uncanny ability to invoke feelings in her she’s never had before. He terrifies her and captivates her all in the span of just one encounter, and something about the way he makes her feel sparks buried memories from a past that she wishes could just stay buried. When the secrets he’s been keeping are finally revealed, every single facet of Sky’s life will change forever.

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This book will let you experience butterflies in your stomach at one point and when you’re invested already, it will make you see pain, fear and trauma.

First, let me just put it out there:

  • Everything about him causes my lungs to fail and heart to go into over drive.
  • You can’t get mad at a real ending.
  • Not everything is going to go my way and not everyone gets a happily ever after. Life is real and sometimes it’s ugly and you just have to learn how to cope.
  • LIVE  (Like + LoVE)
  • When it’s you and me, Sky.. it’ll never be anything less.
  • Life can’t be divided into chapters .. only minutes. The events of your life are all crammed together one minute right after the other without any time lapses or blank pages or chapter breaks because no matter what happens life just keeps going and moving forward and words keep flowing and truths keep spewing whether you like it or not and life never lets you  pause and just catch your fucking breath.
  • The bad things aren’t you. They are just things that happen to you. You need to accept that who you are and the things that happen  to you, are not one and the same.
  • Sometimes you have to choose between a bunch of wrong choices and no right ones. You just have to choose which wrong choice feels the least wrong.
  • There will be days that I don’t think we’ll know how to survive. But we will. We will, because we have each other. So, I’m not worried about us. I’m not worried at all.

 

THE BANTER. ❤ ❤ ❤ I am fascinated with guys in the books who has a PHD in Banter. GAH. The way they twist their statements . . . ❤  ANYWAY, what I liked about this book is that it’s not just another romcom YA. It talks about the grief and devastation of a child who experienced a very traumatic sexual abuse at such a young age from her father. Alcohol, drugs and let alone depression will never be and should not be an excuse for anyone to sexually abuse someone. It haunts the victim and they carry it with them, no matter how long it has been.

I guess the only thing I didn’t like about the book is the romance part. I know I did say that I love the banter, but it’s just that. How can they fall in love in just 2 months and talk about forever? How can Sky feel ‘broken’ after just going out for 2 days? How can she feel devastated just because a guy refused to talk to her for a week? I mean, come on!! Get a grip! Sure, there were I love yous but I don’t really believe in Sky + Holder. 😛

It was an okay read but there was no I-can’t-put-it-down urge. Tho, I finished it in 2 days!

BOOK: Verity by Colleen Hoover


Goodreads: Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of bestselling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish. Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity’s notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn’t expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read. Page after page of bone-chilling admissions, including Verity’s recollection of what really happened the day her daughter died.

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Okay, I . DID . NOT . EXPECT . THAT.

This is no secret, I love Colleen Hoover’s books but this is mind blowingly different. It got me all confused — in an intellectual, magnificent way of writing. Verity is the ultimate manipulator!

Okay, before I spill some more details . . this is sick af but I kind of connected with the Verity from the manuscript. It’s creepy as hell and I’m not saying that I can kill a person or attempt to kill one, at the very least. But I honestly feel the same way about kids, and I don’t know if it’s ever going to change. All I can say is that the Verity in the manuscript is twisted but I do understand where she’s coming from, (not the sex addict part though).

  • Will Jeremy hate Lowen when he finds out that she hid the letter from him?
  • Will Crew grow up as twisted as Verity is?
  • Did Verity really just wrote the manuscript as a practice to be good at writing from an Antagonist point of view?
  • Is Jeremy the bad guy for lying when in fact he knows about the manuscript already?

You can never truly know a person inside and out. This book has so many plot twists I don’t even know where the truth is! I have no idea who the good person is. Verity is twisted and disturbing but YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO PUT IT DOWN. ❤

I completely recommend you read this book . . A S A P

EAT KAPITOLYO: BRAD & PITT’s RIBSHACK


You have no idea how thrilled I am to finally posting another Kapitolyo Food Find! ❤ Kapitolyo has long been my first food discovery and it’s been TOO long! and this is no other than . . . .

So I thought it’s a self service type since a counter greeted us when we walked in. . .

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There’s graffiti and vandals on the wall full of drawings, quotes and what not. It’s actually quite spacious! When we got there about 12:30 nn, there’s only a few tables occupied but it gradually filled up quite fast. And to our surprise, there’s even tables outside. . .

I am guessing this is really packed with people during Friday or at night, filled with people downing their beers. Let’s get to the food.

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Mount Nachos – Php 195 Tortilla chips drizzled in cheese and their home made BBQ sauce topped with sliced jalapenos and pulled pork bits. Pulled Pork is ❤

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Rib Mountain Small (Php 275) This small order is already good for two. For us, it’s more than 1 but not enough for 2. 😀 Their home made BBQ is perfect for their ribbbssss. ❤

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We are both happy, full and definitely satisfied with the price = value for money. ❤ Definitely coming back!

BOOK: CARNAGE (Story of Me) by Lesley Jones


Goodreads: ‘When your world, your life and all of your hopes and dreams for the future are ripped out from under you, how do you go on? Death without dying is not only the most painful kind of death, it’s also the most painful kind of life and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to live it. I spend my lonely days and nights trying to make sense of what my life has become. Do I have the strength to move forward into the light, or should I just let the darkness take me? I’m Georgia Rae Layton McCarthy and this is the story of me, just me.
I’m no longer a part of an us, it’s just me.
Alone.
By myself.’

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Don’t get me wrong. I’m absolutely stunned by the first book and was really excited to read the sequel but sadly, my expectation did not live up to what the book has to offer.

Sure, the vagina- ripping – nine – inch cock wins the girl. But what irritates me about the book is how Georgia endlessly repeating that she was in love both with Maca and Cam at the same time. I feel like it negates all that she mourns, all that she feels and all the love confessions she had with Maca. Yes, I might be going overboard here but how can she expect people to empathize with her for grieving for her husband when she’s now saying that she is also in love with another man? Damn it, Georgia. You are looking like a whore to me. Maca definitely deserves someone so much better than you.

Hands down to Cam for being in love with the same girl for over 15 years and loyally, I might add. But sexual intercourse aside as his cock has its own mind. I think he might just be a sex addict to me.

But still happy for the both of them for finally getting their happy ending. And no, I don’t think I’ll be reading the third book with how disappointed I am with this. :/

BOOK: CARNAGE (Story of Us) by Lesley Jones


Goodreads: Carnage is an edgy coming of age love story that breaks all the rules and transcends the decades. Georgia and Sean’s story will stay with you long after you read the final word. An emotional, smoking hot, gut wrenching read.

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What have I done? What did I get myself into? This is complete bollocks! (Yes, british na din ako.) 😀 But seriously.. How can I subject myself into this heartbreaking ending? Lesley Jones will have you falling in love with Maca for all 300 pages of the book and rips your heart out in the last 10 pages or so.  My heart is still not with me, it’s still on the floor. 😦 I am with you, Georgia.

My God! Sean, Maca, Rock God or whatever it is — definitely destined to be a songwriter with the way he has with words — any fuckin girl will fall for him. ❤ The way he commands and all alpha, the way he uses cuss words in everything is fuckin hot. The way he adores and praises Georgia is maddening. Why do men in books tend to be perfect all the freakin time? Maca, please write me a song, dedicate it to me too on stage, in front of millions of people, look at me and just me. ❤ ❤ ❤

I only have 3 issues in the book — One, it shows a double standard society. Why is Sean blamed for 4 years for going into the room for a threesome and Georgia gets away with having an affair? And all the while — they both are saying ‘IT WILL ONLY EVER BE YOU’? At least for Sean, he was under the influence of drugs. I’m not saying it’s okay but Georgia should have suffered, blamed and tortured just the same. Georgia had sex with her ex with her consent and a clear head. She knowingly opened her legs wide for Cam. Pshhh. Two, how can an 11 yo girl and a 13 yo girl be in love with the same person all their lives? I mean, be realistic at least? I love their story. Don’t get me wrong. But how can you? I just don’t believe it will happen in real life. If it did – then it’s a miracle at the very least. Three, boy is drugs so normal with teenagers! I know that it probably wants to showcase how the famous people are with fame and money and wealth. But this is a young adult genre and kids are also reading this story. And drugs is written all over it. The characters have been using since what? since they were 15?

I love how Sean and Georgia has this secret understanding on: Show us your tits, G. ❤ I’m also intrigued by how Georgia’s brothers takes care of her. I also like having to learn British words – if I understood them the right way? (knickers) for underwear, (bloke) for dude or guys, (cunt) for pussy or vagina and (spunk) for semen or cum.

  • I’ll love you forever, G. Wherever I am in the world, whatever I’m doing, it will always be you, I’m yours for as long as you want me, for as long as I’m good for you, I’m all yours.
  • There’s no one else. There never was, It’s still only ever you.
  • I’ve missed you, I’ve missed us, I’ve missed this so fuckin much, G. This is all I want, all I’ve ever wanted for so long, just you and me, it’s like coming home.
  • Na, you smell like Gia, you smell like home, you smell like exactly where I want to spend the rest of my life. Fuck, I love you Georgia Rae and I’m gonna spend the rest of my life proving it.
  • We will get through this somehow, because this, what we have got blows all the others our of the fuckin water. Romeo and Juliet, Bonnie and Clyde, Sandy and Danny, even Baby and Jonny, they can’t touch us. They couldn’t write our story, what we have, there aren’t even words invented yet to describe it.
  • I love you because I couldn’t not. I love you because it was what I was put on this earth to do.

EAT PASAY: GOLDEN COWRIE, S MAISON


Since our weekends are mostly occupied with wedding preps – and although I love them and the Hubby to be, it can be quite tiring and overwhelming. And sometimes, I just need to step away from all that. Thus, our occasional leaves for a date day. ❤

The date, I suppose is bound for another post altogether. But here, let’s dive deep into our stomachs.

The place has a Filipino inspired surroundings, especially the ceilings. I love how vibrant and sunny the place is and how it faces the water. It gets a little too hot though during lunchtime since the sun is at its peak, but beautiful view nonetheless.

We ordered the Lechon Sinigang at Php 299. I enjoyed the soup since I wanted something hot though it’s not something I would order again. The meat is more of 80% bone and 20% meat. I particularly am not fond of meat that’s pale cause I feel like it’s not cooked. There was only a handful of veggies there.

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Next, we ordered Lechon Sisig at Php 285. I know, one would think not to order (2) Lechon entree. But what can I do, the boyfriend insists. Absolutely loved this. It was crispy and unlike other sisigs, there are no small bones – which I usually stay away from. Pair this with Toyomansi with a bit of sili and you’re set. ❤

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Last but not the least, Bantayan Baked Scallops at Php 299. You will never go wrong with baked scallops oozing with garlic & cheese. ❤ ❤ ❤

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We also ordered their Leche Flan at Php 47. But I have no proof of it so forget about it. It was delicious tho.

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Overall, I only regret ordering the Lechon Sinigang. The waiters? they are attentive once they see. The problem is the way the area is built. Waiters cannot see the entire place where they’re staying so we had to wait for someone to pass by every time.

BOOK: Barking up the Wrong Tree by Eric Barker: Chapter 6


The Surprising science behind why everything you know about success is mostly wrong

Chapter 6: Work, Work, Work or Work Life Balance? How to find harmony between home and the office, courtesy of spiderman, Buddhist-monks, Albert Einstein, professional wrestlers and Genghis khan.

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  • Ted Williams: ‘Hundreds of kids have the natural ability to become great ballplayers but nothing but practice, practice, practice will bring out that ability.’ It wasn’t mere hours that made Williams so great, It was how he spent those hours. He was a perfectionist, constantly trying to improve.
  • Does all hard work produce success? Yes. People who wish to do so must organize their lives around a single enterprise. They must be monomaniacs, even megalomaniacs about their pursuits. They must start early, labor continuously an never give up the cause.
  • Voluminous productivity is the rule and not the exception and individuals who have made some noteworthy contributions. To be the very best, you must be a little nuts in the effort department. Hours alone are not enough. Those hours need to be hard. You need to be pushing yourself to be better.
  • Hard Work creates talent and talent plus time creates success.
  • Libri aut liberi —- Books or Children. If you’re very serious about creating things, you sacrifice family.
  • The people who survive stress the best are the ones who actually increase their social investments in the middle of the stress, which is the opposite of what most of us do. We’re more likely to have faith in the people we joke around with.
  • Don’t do more work if you can do better work.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson: We are always getting ready to live, but never living.

Four Metrics that matter most: 

  1. Happiness – having feelings of pleasure or contentment in and about your life. (Enjoying)
  2. Achievement – achieving accomplishments that compare favorably against similar goals others have strive for. (Winning)
  3. Significance – having a positive impact on people you care about. (Counting to others)
  4. Legacy – establishing your values or accomplishments in ways that help others find future success. (Extending)

 

Most of us don’t take the time. We’re reactive, like the tribes of the steppes. And the problem with work life balance is that the old limits are no longer in place for us. We can’t rely on the world to tell us when to power down or shift gears. It’s on you now. That means you need a plan, or you’re always going to feel like you’re not doing enough. Your war is first and last with yourself.

For a WLB life, 

  • Track your time
  • Talk to your boss
  • Schedule everything
  • Control your context.
  • End the day right and on time

BOOK: Barking up the Wrong Tree by Eric Barker: Chapter 5


The Surprising science behind why everything you know about success is mostly wrong

Chapter 5: Believe in yourself.. sometimes. What can we learn about walking the tightrope between confidence and delusion from chess masters, secret military units, Kung Fu con artists and people who cannot feel fear.

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  • Sometimes the mere appearance of confidence can be the difference between wining and losing.
  • In ‘Self Esteem and Earnings’ showed that your level of confidence is at least as important as how smart you are when it comes to how much money you end up making.
  • More confidence provides more benefits. Studies show overconfidence increases productivity and causes you to choose challenging tasks, which make you shine in the workplace.
  • Why is confidence powerful? It gives us a feeling of control. People who believe they can succeed see opportunities, where others see threats. They are not afraid of uncertainty or ambiguity, they embrace it. They take more risks and achieve greater returns. Given the choice, they bet on themselves. They see their success as a function of their own motivation and ability – not luck, random chance or fate. They carry this belief even when luck does play a crucial role in the success.
  • Displaying overconfidence makes others feel you’re both competent and higher in status. The secret of leadership was the ability o play a role, to pretend, to be skilled in the theatrical arts .. to come across effectively, we need to master how to convey power. The perception is all that matters.
  • Confidence can improve performance and success. It can make others believe in you. But confidence can also be extremely dangerous. It can lead to delusion and hubris.
  • Dunning Kruger Effect is the odd phenomenon of people with the last experience being the most confident because they don’t have the experience to judge just how challenging something is.
  • When we’re less sure, we’re more open to new ideas and we’re actively and passively scanning the world for new ones. Listening to other people’s ideas increases brainpower. Social interactions can actually make us smarter. But there’s a catch: to get the cognitive boost, you need to take the other person’s perspective.
  • Two benefits of humility; it’s a reality check and it keeps us from being arrogant. Humility can actually drives self-improvement because we can see the gap between where we are and where we want to be.
  • We need optimism and confidence to keep gong and convince others to join our cause, but negativity and pessimism help us see problems so we can make them better.
  • Abraham Lincoln: ‘so with men, if you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. I destroy my enemies when I make them my enemies.

How do you develop self – compassion?

  1. Talk to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up or be critical when things don’t go your way.
  2. Learn to accept your humanity. You are fallible.
  3. Recognize your failures and frustrations without either denying them or seeing them as the end of the world. Then do something about them.

 

  • Believing in yourself is nice but forgiving yourself is better.
  • Adjust for natural level of self-esteem.
  • Don’t be a faker. Be you on your best day and the people will see the real you.

BOOK: The year I met you by Cecilia Ahern


Goodreads:  ‘Jasmine know two things: one, she loves her vulnerable sister unconditionally, and will fight to the death to protect her from anyone who upsets her. Two, she’s only ever been good at one thing – her job helping business start-ups.So when she’s sacked and put on gardening leave, Jasmine realises that she has nothing else to fill her life. Insomnia keeps her staring out of her bedroom window, and she finds herself watching the antics of her neighbour, shock jock Matt, with more than a casual eye. Matt is also taking a forced leave of absence from work, after one of his controversial chat shows went too far…’
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Running for the book that I regret reading the most… I don’t know why but I’ve read other Cecilia Ahern books before and as far as I can remember, I enjoyed them and if not, it’s not as worse as this one is.
Let me tell you offhand that there’s 28 chapters in the book. I was already at Chapter 22 and to be honest – I had to consistently remind myself that I need to finish what I started but this is too disappointing. I’m already at the last pages of the book and I kept waiting for something that will pique my interest or make me fall in love with the story, the characters but N-O-T-H-I-N-G!!!!
But to give her credit, something in the last chapter was worth highlighting:
‘I lost something that I thought defined me and I felt like a shell of a person. Instead of trying to get it back, I had to figure out why I couldn’t be whole all by myself. The world is fascinated by instant transformations, human makeovers or magics. My shift wasn’t instant and often the slow pace of change can be painful, lonely and confusing but without us realizing it happening, it happens. We look back and think, ‘Who was that person? when during it all, we think, ‘Who am I becoming?’. And at what point was it that we crossed over that line. But it is thanks to that slowness that we remember the journey, we reserve the sense of where we were, where we are going and why. Destination completely unknown, we can value the crossing.’
The transformation from chrysalis can take weeks, months or even years. We are constantly evolving. I feared stopping and it is ironic that it was only when I finally stopped that I moved the most. I know now that we never truly stop, our journey is never complete, because we will continue to flourish – just as when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly. 

EVERYDAY: 28th Birthday


28 years. Can you believe it? Age never really bothered me so much. But this year? I feel old and unaccomplished. :/ But I am not planning on spreading negativity here. So let’s just say I had an extremely filling birthday lunch. ❤ ❤ ❤

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Since Unli-meat was introduced, you’ll know where to find me. 😀 😀 😀

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My Mom and I celebrated our birthday together. So greet my mom a good one too. ❤ ❤ The only bad outcome? the way you smell like a smoked fish afterwards. 🙂 We celebrated with our close families and our respective plus ones. ❤

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Thank you to my fiancee for my favorite cake from Mary Grace — Mango Bene. 😀 for my balloons and bouquet of course. ❤

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And to my family, my favorite scent from my brother, a green top from Roxy, a staple dress from my sister and hubby, a fuschia top from the parents and new rubber shoes from the fiancee. 😀

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Thank you, everyone. 😀 I will not be skipping any more celebrations here. I tend to forget now so expect multiple posts on any events! ❤

BOOK: Barking up the Wrong Tree by Eric Barker: Chapter 4


The Surprising science behind why everything you know about success is mostly wrong.

Chapter 4: It’s not what you know, It’s who you know (unless it really is what you know) What can we learn about the power of networks from hostage negotiators, top comedians and smartest person who ever lived

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  • Paul Erdos loved to collaborate. He lived out of a suitcase and routinely traveled to 25 countries, eventually working with 500 other mathematicians. ‘Erdos Number’ – a measure of how close you are to working with Paul.
  • Research shows that you don’t actually need to know more to be seen as a leader. Merely by speaking first and speaking often – people come to be seen as El Jefe and those who initially act shy in groups are perceived as less intelligent.
  • To get ahead, you need to self-promote. This comes naturally to extroverts and is actually more important than competence when it comes to being seen as a leader.
  • Having a large network opens you up to more opportunities, it exposes you to all kinds of other new possibilities.
  • Introversion predicts academic performance better than cognitive ability.
  • If you can’t stand a moment aloe, get that MBA and chase that leadership position over a passive workforce. But if people drive you crazy, dive deep into your passion, earn those ten thousand hours and be renowned as the best in your field.
  • Adam Grant: Read each situation carefully and ask yourself: What do I need to do right now to be most happy or successful?
  • When we collaborate – the gains can be exponential. But when we don’t communicate, we can end up not only missing those benefits but also getting our efforts jammed.
  • Adam Rifkin: Be a friend. It is better to give than to receive. Look for opportunities to do something for the other person, such as haring knowledge or offering an introduction to someone that person might not know but would be interested in knowing. Do not be transactional. Do not offer something because you want something in return. Instead, show a genuine interest in something you and other person have in common.
  • The Rule of Thumb in friendship: Be socially optimistic. Assume other people will like you and they probably will.
  • The groups you associate with often determine the type of person you become.
  • Thank the people around you. Relationships are the key to happiness and taking time to say ‘thanks’ renews that feeling of being blessed.

 

Fundamentals of Friendship

  1. You like Ironman? I like Ironman too. – Introduce yourself. We all choose to be friends with people who are like us.
  2. Listen and Encourage other toddlers. – Ask them questions and listen. You’re likely to hear something you can connect over. Asking people questions about themselves can create a bod as strong as lifelong friendship in a surprisingly short amount of time. Stop thinking about what you’re going to say next and focus on what they’re saying now. Don’t be afraid to pay the person a sincere compliment. Asking for advise can really help others warm up to you. Ask what challenges people face. Everyone loves to complain a little about the things that stress them out.
  3. Be a giver. Share yout twinkies. – Offer to help people. When people say they’re having a trouble about something, find a way to help.

How to get an Amazing Mentor right for you? 

  1. Be a worthy pupil – When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
  2. Study them, really study them – Spend time and be intimately familiar with someone’s work and you want someone who scares you a bit.
  3. Wasting a mentor’s time is a mortal sin – Asking great questions is a perfect way to build a relationship. Never ask a mentor a question Google can easily answer for you.
  4. Follow up – The key is to stay relevant. You need to consistently hit them with a conversation to keep the relationship alive but without being a nuisance. Do what they said, get results and let them know they made a difference.

 

We all have stuff we can learn from someone else. 

BOOK: Barking up the Wrong Tree by Eric Barker: Chapter 3


The Surprising science behind why everything you know about success is mostly wrong.

Chapter 3: Do Quitters never win and Winners never quit? 

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  • Creative individuals frame their experiences. They regard failure as a learning experience. They try to build upon its lessons in their future endeavors.
  • The capacity to continue trying despite repeated setbacks was associated with a more optimistic outlook in life.
  • Sometimes quitting is the smartest choice and giving up, when done right can make you a huge success too.
  • ‘Self Talk’ – It turns out when these words are positive, they have a huge effect on your mental toughness, your ability to keep going.
  • We’re not always right that we ‘can’t do it’. Sometimes there’s a way out that we didn’t see because we gave up.
  • ‘Depressive Realism’ – optimists lie to themselves. But if we all stop believing anything can change, nothing ever will. We need a bit of fantasy to keep us going.
  • It all comes down from the stories you tell yourself about the world. And that’s something you can change.
  • Optimists shape their stories according to 3 Ps: permanence, pervasiveness and personalization.
  • If life is all about pleasure, then when it ceases to be fun or immediately beneficial, we quit. When we step outside the wish for comfort, when we live for something greater than ourselves, we no longer have to fight the pain, we accept the pain as a sacrifice. And we don’t give up. It’s the stories we tell ourselves that keep us going. They can be a higher truth. Or in many cases, they don’t need to be true at all.
  • Frankl: What is to give light must endure burning.
  • Stories are the invisible undercurrent that promotes success in a shocking number of the most important areas of life. Stories are a filter, imposing order on an often chaotic world. Stories remove information. They make recollections less accurate. They are deliberately constructed, but life often isn’t. Stories can keep us going because of their inaccuracy. Stories aren’t perfect pictures of the world, but they allow us to succeed for this very reason. You weren’t ‘born to do anything in particular but when your ‘story’ says you were ‘born’ to do something, you perform better and persist.
  • A healthy minds tells itself flattering lies.
  • ‘Scrooge Effect’ – when you take a little time to think about death, you become more kind and generous to others. You put aside short-term goals for a moment and consider who you really want to be.
  • Fate is that thing we cannot avoid. It comes for us despite how we try to dun from it. Destiny is the thing we must chase, what we must bring to fruition. It’s what we strive toward and make true.
  • We are what we pretend to be. If you want to be a knight, act like a knight.
  • ‘Cognitive reappraisal’ – telling yourself a different story about what is happening. By engaging in cognitive reappraisal and telling ourselves a different story about what is happening, we an subvert the entire willpower paradigm.

Make it a game. Make your problems, struggles or goals a game and make it WNGF – Winnable, Novel Challenges, Goals and Feedback

  1. Winnable – Each game has clear rules. We intuitively know that and it makes us very positive about our chances if we persist.
  2. Novel Challenges – Good games make sure we’re always stimulates by something just a little different, honing our attention.
  3. Goals – Good games are very clear what you need to do to win. They serve to focus you and guide decision making.
  4. Feedback – the best way to motivate people is by facilitating small wins. Once a small win has been accomplished, forces are set in motion that favor another small win.

 

The Upside of Quitting

  • Everything we do in life is a trade – off. Choosing to do one thing means not doing something else.
  • Opportunity Cost – the price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.
  • Quit doesn’t have to be the opposite of grit. It has to be Strategic Quitting.
  • Once you’ve found something you’re passionate about, quitting secondary things can be an advantage, because it frees up time to do that number one thing.
  • Peter Drucker: time is the most important resource. Getting rid of everything that wasn’t moving the needle when it came to achieving your goals.
  • Know your number one priority. Then start quitting stuff that isn’t as important and see what happens.
  • You can do anything once you stop trying to do everything.
  • Try things. Quit what fails. Then apply grit.
  • The more experiments you make, the better. Fail fast, fail cheap.
  • Moving on from dead end pursuits is essential to the discovery of more promising paths.

So don’t be afraid to do some experiments and quit the ones that don’t work. It can lead to great things. You need to quit some things to find out what to be gritty at. And you need to try stuff knowing you might quit some of it to open yourself up to the luck and opportunities that can make you successful.