BOOK: Barking up the Wrong Tree by Eric Barker: Chapter 4


The Surprising science behind why everything you know about success is mostly wrong.

Chapter 4: It’s not what you know, It’s who you know (unless it really is what you know) What can we learn about the power of networks from hostage negotiators, top comedians and smartest person who ever lived

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  • Paul Erdos loved to collaborate. He lived out of a suitcase and routinely traveled to 25 countries, eventually working with 500 other mathematicians. ‘Erdos Number’ – a measure of how close you are to working with Paul.
  • Research shows that you don’t actually need to know more to be seen as a leader. Merely by speaking first and speaking often – people come to be seen as El Jefe and those who initially act shy in groups are perceived as less intelligent.
  • To get ahead, you need to self-promote. This comes naturally to extroverts and is actually more important than competence when it comes to being seen as a leader.
  • Having a large network opens you up to more opportunities, it exposes you to all kinds of other new possibilities.
  • Introversion predicts academic performance better than cognitive ability.
  • If you can’t stand a moment aloe, get that MBA and chase that leadership position over a passive workforce. But if people drive you crazy, dive deep into your passion, earn those ten thousand hours and be renowned as the best in your field.
  • Adam Grant: Read each situation carefully and ask yourself: What do I need to do right now to be most happy or successful?
  • When we collaborate – the gains can be exponential. But when we don’t communicate, we can end up not only missing those benefits but also getting our efforts jammed.
  • Adam Rifkin: Be a friend. It is better to give than to receive. Look for opportunities to do something for the other person, such as haring knowledge or offering an introduction to someone that person might not know but would be interested in knowing. Do not be transactional. Do not offer something because you want something in return. Instead, show a genuine interest in something you and other person have in common.
  • The Rule of Thumb in friendship: Be socially optimistic. Assume other people will like you and they probably will.
  • The groups you associate with often determine the type of person you become.
  • Thank the people around you. Relationships are the key to happiness and taking time to say ‘thanks’ renews that feeling of being blessed.

 

Fundamentals of Friendship

  1. You like Ironman? I like Ironman too. – Introduce yourself. We all choose to be friends with people who are like us.
  2. Listen and Encourage other toddlers. – Ask them questions and listen. You’re likely to hear something you can connect over. Asking people questions about themselves can create a bod as strong as lifelong friendship in a surprisingly short amount of time. Stop thinking about what you’re going to say next and focus on what they’re saying now. Don’t be afraid to pay the person a sincere compliment. Asking for advise can really help others warm up to you. Ask what challenges people face. Everyone loves to complain a little about the things that stress them out.
  3. Be a giver. Share yout twinkies. – Offer to help people. When people say they’re having a trouble about something, find a way to help.

How to get an Amazing Mentor right for you? 

  1. Be a worthy pupil – When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
  2. Study them, really study them – Spend time and be intimately familiar with someone’s work and you want someone who scares you a bit.
  3. Wasting a mentor’s time is a mortal sin – Asking great questions is a perfect way to build a relationship. Never ask a mentor a question Google can easily answer for you.
  4. Follow up – The key is to stay relevant. You need to consistently hit them with a conversation to keep the relationship alive but without being a nuisance. Do what they said, get results and let them know they made a difference.

 

We all have stuff we can learn from someone else. 

BOOK: Barking up the Wrong Tree by Eric Barker: Chapter 3


The Surprising science behind why everything you know about success is mostly wrong.

Chapter 3: Do Quitters never win and Winners never quit? 

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  • Creative individuals frame their experiences. They regard failure as a learning experience. They try to build upon its lessons in their future endeavors.
  • The capacity to continue trying despite repeated setbacks was associated with a more optimistic outlook in life.
  • Sometimes quitting is the smartest choice and giving up, when done right can make you a huge success too.
  • ‘Self Talk’ – It turns out when these words are positive, they have a huge effect on your mental toughness, your ability to keep going.
  • We’re not always right that we ‘can’t do it’. Sometimes there’s a way out that we didn’t see because we gave up.
  • ‘Depressive Realism’ – optimists lie to themselves. But if we all stop believing anything can change, nothing ever will. We need a bit of fantasy to keep us going.
  • It all comes down from the stories you tell yourself about the world. And that’s something you can change.
  • Optimists shape their stories according to 3 Ps: permanence, pervasiveness and personalization.
  • If life is all about pleasure, then when it ceases to be fun or immediately beneficial, we quit. When we step outside the wish for comfort, when we live for something greater than ourselves, we no longer have to fight the pain, we accept the pain as a sacrifice. And we don’t give up. It’s the stories we tell ourselves that keep us going. They can be a higher truth. Or in many cases, they don’t need to be true at all.
  • Frankl: What is to give light must endure burning.
  • Stories are the invisible undercurrent that promotes success in a shocking number of the most important areas of life. Stories are a filter, imposing order on an often chaotic world. Stories remove information. They make recollections less accurate. They are deliberately constructed, but life often isn’t. Stories can keep us going because of their inaccuracy. Stories aren’t perfect pictures of the world, but they allow us to succeed for this very reason. You weren’t ‘born to do anything in particular but when your ‘story’ says you were ‘born’ to do something, you perform better and persist.
  • A healthy minds tells itself flattering lies.
  • ‘Scrooge Effect’ – when you take a little time to think about death, you become more kind and generous to others. You put aside short-term goals for a moment and consider who you really want to be.
  • Fate is that thing we cannot avoid. It comes for us despite how we try to dun from it. Destiny is the thing we must chase, what we must bring to fruition. It’s what we strive toward and make true.
  • We are what we pretend to be. If you want to be a knight, act like a knight.
  • ‘Cognitive reappraisal’ – telling yourself a different story about what is happening. By engaging in cognitive reappraisal and telling ourselves a different story about what is happening, we an subvert the entire willpower paradigm.

Make it a game. Make your problems, struggles or goals a game and make it WNGF – Winnable, Novel Challenges, Goals and Feedback

  1. Winnable – Each game has clear rules. We intuitively know that and it makes us very positive about our chances if we persist.
  2. Novel Challenges – Good games make sure we’re always stimulates by something just a little different, honing our attention.
  3. Goals – Good games are very clear what you need to do to win. They serve to focus you and guide decision making.
  4. Feedback – the best way to motivate people is by facilitating small wins. Once a small win has been accomplished, forces are set in motion that favor another small win.

 

The Upside of Quitting

  • Everything we do in life is a trade – off. Choosing to do one thing means not doing something else.
  • Opportunity Cost – the price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.
  • Quit doesn’t have to be the opposite of grit. It has to be Strategic Quitting.
  • Once you’ve found something you’re passionate about, quitting secondary things can be an advantage, because it frees up time to do that number one thing.
  • Peter Drucker: time is the most important resource. Getting rid of everything that wasn’t moving the needle when it came to achieving your goals.
  • Know your number one priority. Then start quitting stuff that isn’t as important and see what happens.
  • You can do anything once you stop trying to do everything.
  • Try things. Quit what fails. Then apply grit.
  • The more experiments you make, the better. Fail fast, fail cheap.
  • Moving on from dead end pursuits is essential to the discovery of more promising paths.

So don’t be afraid to do some experiments and quit the ones that don’t work. It can lead to great things. You need to quit some things to find out what to be gritty at. And you need to try stuff knowing you might quit some of it to open yourself up to the luck and opportunities that can make you successful. 

BOOK: Barking up the Wrong Tree by Eric Barker: Chapter 2


The Surprising science behind why everything you know about success is mostly wrong.

Chapter 2: Do Nice Guys finish last? What can you learn about trust, cooperation and kindness.. from Gang members, pirates and serial killers

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  • According to Jeffrey Pfeffer, managing what your boss thinks of you is far more important than actual hard work.
  • Brilliant but Cruel: If someone is too nice, we figure they must be less competent. In fact, being a jerk makes others see you as more powerful.
  • Why do jerks succeed? they’re assertive about what they want, and they’re not afraid to let others know about what they’ve achieved.
  • Ruut Veenhoven: The quality of society is more important than your place in the society.
  • Discipline of continuous dealings: When you know and trust someone, it makes a transaction smoother and faster. That means more transactions happen, producing a better market and more value for everyone involve.

 

Axelrod’s Four Lessons from TFT’s success: (tit for tat)

  1. Don’t be envious – Just because someone else wins, that doesn’t mean you lose. Sometimes that person needs the fruit and you need the peel. And sometimes the strategy that makes you lose small on this round makes you win big on the next. Don’t worry how well the other side is doing, worry about how well you’re doing. 
  2. Don’t be the first to defect – Not only in reciprocity one of the key elements of being influential and winning favor with others but it’s also essential that you go first. All the big winners are nice and all the big losers started off betraying.
  3. Reciprocate both cooperation and defection – Never betray anyone initially. But if a person cheats you, don’t be a martyr.
  4. Don’t be too clever :

 

SIX FAST RULES

  • Pick the right pond – the people who surround us often determine who we become.
  • Cooperate first – Go ahead and send that new inmate a gift basket. When the knives come out in prison yard, you’ll have a lot more people watching your back.
  • Being selfless isn’t saintly, it’s silly
  • Work hard but make sure it gets noticed – Jerks are not afraid to push a little. They self-promote. They negotiate. They make themselves visible.
  • Think long term and make others think long term – a person always discern on two things; whether a potential partner can be trusted and whether he is likely to be encountered again.
  • Forgive

Wedding Planning: Photo & Video


Once you’re done with your church & venue, I think you need to be looking at the major suppliers, which are catering and photo & video. But since the catering is already booked together with our venue, let’s look at Photo & Video.
MY GOD. It took me MONTHS. 😀 I have been following quite a lot of photo vids even before I was engaged and I know exactly the style that I am looking for.
What do you need to know before you look for PV Suppliers:
  • Style
  • Budget
This way, you will be able to trim down your list as you skim thru their pages or accounts. If you are planning to visit bridal fairs, for the love of god — do your research first! I can assure you that it’s overwhelming!! All the discounts, freebies and packages will be handed out to you and you’ll get CONFUSED as to what you want.
Some of the prominent styles out there: Bright & Light, Vintage, Rustic, Cinematic and Lifestyle. Personally, I wanted our PV team to have the Happy Happy Bright Light Style. The suppliers that I will be sharing with you are the ones that we considered and inquired.
Kindly take note that rates here are for 2018 – 2019 and they may have increased their prices.
PHOTO ONLY
PHOTO
VIDEO ONLY
VIDEO
PHOTO & VIDEO
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What are the things you need to ask or consider:
  • Do they have the style that I want?
  • Do they have out of town fees?
  • Do they give albums? (size, number of photos, material)
  • Do they also give parent’s albums?
  • When will you get the raw photos? (on the day, a month after)
  • Do they shoot engagement session? (add on or included)
  • Do they produce cinematic highlights? or just SDE? (some include both)
  • Do they give you a copy of the whole wedding coverage? (some just sde)
  • Do they produce AVPs? (love story, growing up)
  • How many photographers? and how many videographers?
  • Do they offer aerial shots?
  • Do they produce save the date videos?
These are just some of the things that you might want to ask when you inquire. I might have missed something. I’ll add to it when I remember.
But, do your research, it will help. Set a budget and remember that you will be looking at these photos so make sure to choose a supplier that will capture the magic during your wedding.
Happy Preps! ❤

BOOK: Sea of Strangers by Lang Leav


So I only started reading this book about 3 hours ago. But as you all know, this is a poetry book so I had time on my side. Compared to Atticus, Lang Leav’s has titles.
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These are the pages that had an impact on me:
  • New Beginnings
  • Contentment
  • Moving on
  • We Never Broke Up
  • Writing
  • My Life
  • When it’s Over
  • The one thing
  • Smoke & Mirrors
  • Thoughts on Letting Go
  • Over
  • Back to Life
  • Too Far In
  • Borrowed Love
  • Crazy Love
  • Who you Love
  • Transcript of your Heart
  • To Love you
  • Be the One
  • For yours
  • The Girl you once had
  • How it Ends
Although there seems to be a lot pages marked, I also think there’s a lot of poems in the book that had no absolute effect on me. It felt like they were just there to make the book longer and make it seem full.

BOOK: Love her wild by Atticus


Fear of not being able to finish a book for the month of Feb, I immediately resorted to having to read a poetry book – which I know would only require me less time. I know, I know.. I’m taking the easy road here. But forgive me, as I’m busy with planning you-know-what.
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Basically, I finished this book in two days. ❤ I’m not going to share all of the poems in the books but here are just (5) of what I bookmarked. Not my top and not in any particular order.
  • Don’t fear, her father said. Sometimes the scary things are beautiful as well and the more beauty you find in them the less scary they’ll become.
  • Dont give up now. Chances are your best kiss, your hardest laugh and your greatest day are still yet to come.
  • What a strange world. We trade our days for things.
  • Find something that makes you forget to eat and sleep and drink then do it until you die of thirst
  • Chase your stars, fool. Life is short.
I love how I find something that doesn’t really pertain to someone or being in love in general.

EVERYDAY: Tandem’s Birthday


I don’t know why but for some reason, I stopped celebrating my birthday with friends.
But this time, it was Tandem’s Birthday — and we are going to have dinner at Soban K-Town Grill
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Marc, Jaja and Nicole
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Myself, Jude, Alvin and Mich
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Boyfriend, Shek and Panda
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Mich, Gellie and Pam
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Afterwhich, we head to Barcino for some wine. ❤
See you all at our fitting.:D
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MAKATI EATS: COMMUNE


It’s been a while since I posted about food. You noticed? We don’t actually have the time to try out new ones or the boyfriend is lazy. :/ Good thing I have officemates willing to lunch out. ❤
The first time I tried commune, it was actually with Jude and we only had coffee and cookies at that time – which was good. So this time, we had their mains.
I tried their Kimchi Fried Rice for Php 300
Kimchi Fried Rice serced with crispy spam fries and fried egg
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My officemate loved it but it was just okay for me. I loved the spam, it really was crispy. I had to ask the waiter to have the egg well done because I don’t eat the gooeeyyy yellow. I loved that it came with bokchoy. ❤ but the rice was just o-kay.
Beef Tapa for Php 305
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I tasted their Tapa and it was yum-my. It didn’t taste like one — that’s maybe the reason why I liked it. Most of the time, I will never order a tapa.
Chicken Pork Adobo for Php 265
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The serving of the meat was pretty generous but most importantly, it was super tender. I will order this next time. 🙂
Bangus Ala Pobre for Php 290
It’s boneless and it was huge.
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We also ordered desserts! ❤
Oreo Cheesecake for Php 200
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Choco Lava Cake for Php 160
It was a bit dry. I was expecting it to be runny and moist and full of chocolate.
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Food and place was pretty instagrammable. ❤ I will definitely bring Jude here again to try out other rice meals.
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EATS MAKATI: ESSENTIAL GOODNESS


Little did you know, there’s a nice rooftop restaurant inside Lub’d building in Poblacion.
I love the hanging lamps of the place, it was clean and sunny inside.
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The service was a bit slow. The food was served about 25 – 30 minutes after we placed our order.
We ordered the following:
Sardine and Clam Pasta for Php 250
local clam and sardine confit with a wine sauce served with spaghetti & parmesan cheese.
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There were a lot of clams – but I don’t eat clams so I gave it to my friends but the tomatoes and the sardines is enough. The taste was superb and the serving was huge.
Chicken and Pork Adobo for Php 250
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The serving was huge but it was bland and the meat’s semblance is bubblegum.
Roasted Chicken Curry Stew for Php 245
Roasted Chicken in japanese curry, zucchini, carrots served with japanese rice.
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It was quite tasteful but I think I wouldn’t be able to finish the whole plate if it was the only thing I was eating.
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Waiters were friendly and accommodating but we only encountered something unpleasant when my officemate found a hair on her plate of curry. They willingly changed the whole plate and was quick to act.
It was okay but there’s no urge to go back.
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Wedding Planning: Church and Venue


Hi Everyone!

Before anything else, I’d like to greet everyone a Happy Love Month. ❤

With this, I’d like to start talking about our wedding. Not necessarily our wedding per se. But I’d like to share with you our Wedding Planning Journey which I hope you can get some insights and/or tips on. 🙂

I’d like to believe I’m a pretty much Bridechilla type. 😀 Most of the time, it’s the fiancee who keeps planning NON-STOP. It got to a point where I had to limit our wedding planning to some days. ❤ He understands. Haha.

Okay! So before you start looking for your church and venue, you at least need to know the following:

 

  • NUMBER of GUESTS – The venue will depend on the number of guests you have. If you want an intimate or a grand wedding, you need to have a ballpark of who you want to invite.
  • CHURCH or GARDEN or BEACH? If you’re Catholic, you need to have the wedding ceremony inside the church but if otherwise, you can have it anywhere you want.
  • THEME – Your theme should dictate everything you plan about your wedding. You don’t want to end up having all sorts of different pinterest pieces that would might look like a jungle. Right? May it be a classic clean cut look, rustic, floral, travel theme, old and vintage… You need to have this in mind all the time.
  • SEVERAL DATE OPTIONSIf you’re like me who’s somewhat sentimental.. You will be disappointed. So you need to be armed with several date choices. We wanted our Anniversary which is May, but we thought it’s too far. Next option was November 18 since that was our first date but there was no available church and time on the date. So we chose the closest one. It may not be our first option, but remember — the value of the date comes from what happens right? The important thing is that you celebrate being one that day.
  • MANILA or DESTINATION – One of the most important thing you need to consider . . . Out of town fees!! It might seem small for 1 supplier that could range from Php 2,000 – Php 7,000 but if all suppliers will have one, it would cost a lot. But if you’re already set with your venue and church — try looking for suppliers who are in the area.

 

 

It would save you a lot of time if you know the following details above. It can extremely trim down your list. To be honest, even BEFORE my fiancee proposed, we were already talking a lot about our wedding. I, for one have been following different IG venues, bride and breakfast and the like. It’s a good thing I can freely discuss it with him without scaring him off. An added bonus? He’s also doing the same thing! ❤ before he proposed. So when he finally did, we both had ideas on what and where we want it.

Okayyyyy, so where did we start? I HAD a Non – Negotiable Church and Venue.

My Non Negotiable Church – St Benedict Parish

St Benedict

It definitely screams J-A-N-N-A everywhere. (cue in sad tears). It had pristine all white walls, it was clean cut anywhere you look. The problem? The next available weekend is 2 years from where we are looking at. And we didn’t want to wait that long. We can’t do it on a weekday because it would be too selfish of us.

 

My Non Negotiable Venue – Villa Milagros

Villa Milagros 1

Okay, before Bride & Breakfast did a feature on the venue, I had my eyes set on this venue. Why? It goes so well with my personality. ❤ Also, all white – it gives you the feeling of sophistication and class. It wasn’t too popular before, which I love and you will have the whole place to ourselves. The problem? We couldn’t find a beautiful church nearby. :/ And, the place was a little too pricey and would require a lot of add ons and corkage. :/

 

What Next? Here are the different churches we considered and visited:

 

  • Sacred Heart of Jesus Parish

Sacred Heart of Jesus Parish

 

This was our second best church. ❤ It was lovely. If you’re looking for something in the Metro with a huge capacity, this is it. It also has this classy feel. We didn’t pick this because we couldn’t find the perfect venue near this church.

 

  • Our Lady of Lourdes Parish

Our Lady of Lourdes

 

For me, this is okay. There was no heartbeat though. It didn’t exude a fleeting feeling. It’s a church, alright but I think it didn’t fit my personality although this was near our venue.

 

  • San Antonio de Padua

San Antonio de Padua

 

The lawn outside the church makes it a perfect for photoshoot before and after the ceremony. But our friends is getting married here the week before our date so we opted to eliminate this one from our list.

 

  • Madre de Dios

Madre de Dios

 

This church is beautiful. It’s interior is somehow the same with my Non Nego church. But you are only allowed to have your ceremony here if you’re booking Tagaytay Highlands as your reception venue. We tried, but the rates given to us are really expensive yet there’s limited inclusions. :/

 

  • Santuario de San Ezekiel

Santuario de San Ezekiel Moreno

 

The structure and built of the church is quite similar with Sacred Heart of Jesus. But this is so close to home and I didn’t want that. 😀 This is about 10 minutes away from our house.

 

  • Our Lady of Ephesus

Our Lady of Ephesus

 

If you’re having an intimate, quiet wedding, this is for you. The church is plain and a bit small. There’s also restrictions on the flowers. But if you want an all in one venue, this is inside Bella Rosa Gardens. We were about to book this Church and Venue already but we chose not to since we thought that guests might find it too far. It’s not but it’s situated inside residential areas and is hard to find. :/

 

Here are the different venues we considered and visited:

 

  • Palazzo Verde

Palazzo Verde

 

This is fiance’s first and only choice right after seeing their rates. Let me just burst your bubble of doubt. We inquired around November 2018 and the rates are around Php 700k. With this, you already have the church, accommodation, venue, photo & video, flowers, mobile bar, coffee bar and coordinator. It really saves you a lot of hassle looking for suppliers since most of the major suppliers are already included. However, I decided to shy away from venue at the first opportunity because it’s already too popular and I know a lot who got married here. I didn’t like the idea.

 

  • Bella Rosa Gardens

 

You have 2 choices here: indoor and outdoor. The indoor area can fit about 100 while the outdoor can probably seat 300 or more. But in my opinion, you’d probably get the best value of the venue if you hold it outdoor, in their garden. It’s beautiful. They also have accommodation already and the bridal suite is really spacious. They even have a pool for the guests. The good thing about this place is they only book 1 event per day so you have all their attention. They can somehow be your coordinator during the day. We didn’t book this because of its location which we thought is hard to find.

 

  • The Forest Barn

 

For this one, we didn’t actually visit the venue anymore because it’s not suited for our theme. But if you’re having a rustic themed wedding, you can consider this. Don’t get me wrong. I love the venue but we also can’t have a garden wedding so I omitted this one already.

 

  • La Faite

 

I love the yellow lights, low ceiling, relaxed environment of this venue. They also have rooms where the bride and groom squad can stay during the wedding day. This also has a rustic feel so we didn’t choose this. But I still stalk their IG up to this day. ❤

 

  • Alta Veranda de Tibig

 

Have you seen their infamous arc? It’s absolutely stunning. This probably is the perfect backdrop during a wedding ceremony or a perfect place to set up the couple’s area during the reception. I am in love with the place. ❤ Too bad, they are quite pricey.

 

  • Angelfields

Angelfields 1

 

We have been keeping this place in our radar for quite some time already. The fiancee also loves this place. We didn’t bother visiting since we are aware of their packages which we can’t afford. 😀

 

  • Villa Milagros

 

Again, this is my Non negotiable which I didn’t get. So I should probably stop saying that this is a non negotiable for me. 😀 I’ll let the picture do the talking. ❤

 

I listed the things you should consider before looking for your church and venue right? But you also need to be armed with questions when you visit them so that you’ll have all the details that you need to do an informed decision.

 

For the Church

  • Principal Sponsors – Do they have a limit on the number? What if they failed to be present during the ceremony?
  • Parking – Do they have enough for your number of guests?
  • Flowers – Some churches have a limit on the flowers and there are only areas where you can place them. It may be different from what you have planned.
  • Photo & Video – In what areas are they allowed? Is there a limit? Some churches only have areas for PV team to stand as they may interrupt the ceremony.
  • Songs – Are you allowed to insert non church songs? Can you pick the songs?
  • Vows – Are you allowed to recite your vows
  • Attire – Bridal Attire restrictions and entourage
  • Others – Are you allowed to shower petals or what not. Some churches are very strict with garbage.
  • Inclusions – what are the other inclusions? Do they provide for the offertory? 
  • Requirements – there are standard marriage requirements but it’s safe to ask if the church has other requirements
  • Additional Fees – Will you be incurring additional fees? For the electricity?

 

For the Venue:

  • Inclusions of the Package – does it include the caterer? Lights and sounds? Decor?
  • Accredited Suppliers – list of their accredited suppliers. Do they charge if you book a supplier not on the list?
  • Parking – is it enough for your guests?
  • Space – do they have enough space for the cocktails? Mobile bar? Coffee bar? Photo Booth? And other things you might want to add?
  • Styling – Is styling included in the package. If the venue is bare, you might need to incur additional charges for the styling.
  • Engagement – Once you book them, can you do your prenup there free of charge?
  • Preparation Venue – During the wedding day, do they have an area where the entourage can stay?
  • Accommodation – What are the nearest accommodations in the area? It might help to provide your guests with this list especially if it’s a destination wedding.
  • Lights and Sounds – Do they have a mixer? What are included in the package?
  • Backdrop – Should you book another supplier for the backdrop? Or is it included?
  • Payment terms – this is important so you know what your cash flow is.
  • Number of Hours – how many hours can you use the venue? How much will they charge you if you stay beyond?
  • Weather Provisions – Can you transfer your event indoors if it starts to rain?
  • Fireworks – are you allowed to set off fireworks?

 

These are only the things I’ve learned in four months since we got engaged. It’s still best to research beforehand. Read reviews, ask your friends, visit the place and think of all the scenarios so you are prepared.

 

Hope you learned a thing or two. 😀 I’ll update this if I happen to encounter something else. Happy Preps, Brides! ❤

BOOK: Barking up the Wrong Tree by Eric Barker; Chapter 1


The Surprising science behind why everything you know about success is mostly wrong. 

Chapter 1: Should we play it safe and do what we’re told if we want to succeed? Does playing by the rules pay off?

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  • When are our weakness actually strengths? Is it better to be an outlier with both handicaps and superpowers? Or do we live better lives at the middle of the bell curve?
  • Differential susceptibility hypothesis: The same genes that lead to bad stuff can actually lead to great stuff in a different situation.
  • David Dobbs in The Atlantic: the very genes that gives us the most trouble as species causing behaviors that are self-destructive and antisocial, also underlie humankind’s phenomenal adaptability and evolutionary success.
  • Hopeful Monster: an individual that deviates radically from the norm in a population because of a genetic mutation that confers a potentially adaptive advantage.
  • Pixar Experience: pixar is thinking that they are starting to lose their edge after ‘Finding Nemo’. They hired a new CEO so that they will have a new strategy. This new CEO’s tactic was to hire the BLACKSHEEP of the company and give them absolute liberty to be creative. Result? a blockbuster The Incredibles”. ‘The same traits that make people a nightmare to deal with can also make them the people who change the world.
  • Idea of Intensifiers: qualities that are universally awful have their own uses in specific contexts. Example, Formula 1 cars are undrivable on city streets but break records on a track. When it comes to the extremes of performance, averages doesn’t matter. What matters is variance, those deviations from the norm. Almost universally, we humans try to filter out the worst to increase the average, but by doing so, we also decrease variance.
  • Mad Genius Paradox: mildly creative people are mentally healthier than average – but extremely creative people have a far higher incidence of mental disorders.
  • Venture Capital Business Mindset: Invest in strength versus lack of weakness. The companies that have the really extreme strengths often have serious flaws. But if you don’t invest on the basis of serious flaws, you don’t invest in most of the big winners.
  • Leadership Filtration Theory: reaching the heights of success requires a dip into qualities that are otherwise problematic.
  1. Know Thyself – In terms of achieving what you want in life, means being aware of your strengths. What are you good at that consistently produces desired results?
  2. Pick the right pond – You’ve got to pick the right environment  that work for you. When you choose your pond wisely, you can best leverage your type, your strengths, and your context to create tremendous value.

 

Too often we label things good or bad when the right designation might merely be different. We spend too much time trying to be ‘good’ when good is merely average. To be great, we must be different. And that doesn’t come from trying to follow society’s vision of what is best, because society doesn’t always know what it needs. More often being best means just being the best version of you. In the right environment, bad can be good and odd can be beautiful. 

TV SHOW: The Bodyguard


Wikipedia: ‘The series is set around the fictional character of Police Sergeant David Budd, a heroic British Army war veteran suffering from PTSD,  who is now working as a specialist protection officer for the Royalty and Specialist Protection Branch of London’s Police Sevice. He is assigned to protect the ambitious Home Secretary, Julia Montague, whose politics stand for everything he despises.’

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You know what makes me keep watching? I still don’t know who the bad guy is! ❤ … UNTIL NOW.

And yes, I have been watching Netflix non stop. 😀

TV SHOW: Santa Clarita Diet


Wikipedia: ‘Joel and Sheila Hammond are everyday suburban real estate agents in Santa Clarita. The couple face a series of obstacles when Sheila has a physical transformation into a zombie and starts craving human flesh. With Joel and the family trying to help Sheila through the trying time, they have to deal with neighbors, cultural norms and getting to the bottom of a potentially mythological mystery.’

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  • No more doing this separately. From now on, we fuck everything up together. 
  • Sometimes you do shit you never expected for the people you love. 

 

Okay, this might a little too chick flick for some but I actually enjoyed this series. My mom and I finished the 2 seasons in 1 day, this playing in the background while we keep our christmas decors. ❤

Let’s just take a moment and give Joel Hammond the praise and the ‘BEST HUSBAND’ award that he completely deserves. Right? C’mon. If this ever happened to me, I will not be able to sleep beside my wife. I’d have both of my eyes open, waiting for her to attack me. But this, Joel has been accepting everything relatively easy!! He has been providing her with food, buying groceries, plotting ways to kill people to feed her wife! He is even willing to go to prison! Man, we all need a Joel in our lives. — the perfect crime partner. ❤ AND, He has the looks. ❤

Also, I love how this is just a light watch. The family is witty and quirky enough. The daughter and the best friend is equally entertaining. Notice how the deputy’s face, Anne is annoying – just as her character is. This might seem ‘corny’ to me at first as how all zombie movies is to me but I’m glad I gave this one a chance. 🙂

P.S. I will be waiting for the third season. ❤

BOOK: The Four by Scott Gallaway


Goodreads: Amazon, Apple, Facebook, and Google are the four most influential companies on the planet. Just about everyone thinks they know how they got there. Just about everyone is wrong. Whether you want to compete with them, do business with them, or simply live in the world they dominate, you need to understand the Four.

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So let’s not be a hypocrite. I am a fan of the four, just like everybody else. You have to admit, at some point in your life, you wanted to work for them. I want to pick their brains out, have breakfast with them and find out what they talk about on a daily basis.

Let me list down what Scott Gallaway has to say about the Four Horsemen..

  1. Amazon (Earth’s Biggest Store) lower cost, greater selection and faster delivery.

Amazon’s rise rests on its appeal to our instincts. Bezos realized reviews could do the hard work of retailing for him. Customers do the marketing. By acting quickly and decisively – you force competitors to respond to your last maneuver as you’re entering the next one. It”s core competence is storytelling. They are replacing profits with vision and growth.

2. Google (Modern Man’s God)

Who else inspires so many queries about the unknown from all corners of the world? The insights into consumer behavior Google gleans from a billion queries each day make this horseman the executioner of traditional brands and media.

3. Facebook (Most Successful Thing in Human History)

It’s gaining influence faster than any enterprise in history. It’s algorithm can be used to microtarget distinct populations in specific geographic areas. It offers unparalleled granularity, assuring that advertisers only spend money on people who are already in-market. It decides which content is best suited to convey advertising and who will see it.

4. Apple (Most Profitable Company in History)

The global badge of wealth, education and western values. It counts among its congregation the most important people in the world: The Innovators. Apple decided to pursue scarcity to achieve out sized irrational profits. Apple is the first company to have a shot at multi generational success.

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  • The key to success in e-commerce wasn’t execution but creating the hype around a company’s potential, and then selling it to some rich sucker before the house of cards caved in.
  • The key to success in a multi channel era is knowing which channel to optimize and how to cater to our hunter-gatherer instincts.
  • What can you do that gives you an advantage that’s hugely expensive and that no one else can afford?

TROUBLE

  • All do more with less, all put people out of work.
  • When we allow an enterprise to run unchecked and lawless, we’ve lost respect for the proper standards they, versus other firms get to play by. It only adds further fuel to the flames of inequality.

Five Key Attributes to Success

  1. Iconic Founder
  2. Artisanship
  3. Vertical Integration
  4. Global
  5. Price Premium

The society trusts the four horsemen so much that we allow them to listen to our conversation, monitor our transactions, keep track of what we’re doing and harvest our consumption data. We give them so much power in to our private lives. The four is leveraging big data and has an unrivaled knowledge of consumer purchasing patterns. We have voluntarily handed over all information.

The four have so much power over our lives that most of us would be rocked to the core if one or more of them were to disappear.

P.S. The book’s really good. It will give you insights that you never thought or ever looked into. I suggest you pick up the book, head over to the counter, pay for it and lock yourself in a room until you finish it. ❤